Something happens to me when I travel great distances. Something in me shifts. It’s easier for me to get into a bit of a routine to write, walk, and be. Life seems to slow down. Which allows the focus to be on the simplicity and joys in life. Rather than feeling like I must keep getting things done, being forward moving and productive. Traveling for me has changed from a break in the routine, to being part of the routine. Not just going to some pretty place and running around seeing everything that is to be seen, but to actually be still enough, to soak in and be affected by all that is around. This piece of writing is a continuation of a piece that my friend Caffin Jesse wrote on social media. Wanted to give her all the credit. And it got me thinking even more….
We are at a turning point in our world. The United States of America has been the greatest world experiment to date in human existence. Allowing and even welcoming any race, creed, skin color and religion an opportunity to flourish suppression free with democratic ideals. It hasn’t been perfect for sure but, then again, humans are purely imperfect. And as a people, we still struggle with accepting and being curious about others, the beginning point of developing a new intimacy of the ages. We are currently being driven by the concepts of equity / diversity and inclusion / discrimination when it comes to the question of how we can develop intimacy between ourselves when we come with such differences and life experiences.
In order to try to understand and comprehend the development of a new paradigm of intimacy between us, it’s important to review some of the spiritual teachings of the past. The one worth mentioning here is in the Buddha teaching of “dukkah” and how we are intertwined and interconnected and effected by each other.
Buddha taught that “life is dukkah” and I’d like to put aside the idea of “life is suffering” for now. Dukkah is divided it into three main categories.
- Stress, pain or ordinary suffering that comes along with being in these human celestial bodies. Including physical, emotional and mental.
- Impermanence or change or anything that is not permanent and subject to change. This includes happiness and even the purest states of bliss. Nothing wrong to enjoy them, just don’t cling to it.
- Lastly, the most difficult to understand is … conditioned states. To be dependent on or affected by something or someone else. All circumstances are conditioned because everything effects everything else. Another way to look at it is that everything is all interconnected.
The Buddha taught this 26 centuries ago even without the invention of the internet which continues to bring the world closer together. Not necessarily developing intimate connections, even though it does happen. The connections the internet provide still holds great value even as of today. Just look at the media and what we are seeing in Ukraine, on a moment to moment basis, because of how fast information travels. Why has it been so hard to practice teachings of oneness, sameness and how we can develop compassion and empathy can bring to our intimate relationships?
How is it that all the teachings out there for centuries that profess kindness, sameness, oneness and non-violence, seem to be nonexistent when it comes to “seeing” others as ourselves? How we want to be treated is how we treat others? Why haven’t we moved past human behavior such as slavery, genocide, war, and power over others? Haven’t we evolved and learned in history from our misguided actions? Obviously not, because our planet still continues to experience all of it.
It seems like no religion, race, color, or creed is free from experiencing the many forms of discrimination. The house of worship I used to belong to said they welcome diversity but, to participate in the rituals (marriage, coming to adult) people must go through some of the out of date and arcane rituals. Our decision of choice is just not enough. These old and out of date practices still determine the inclusion process. There are many religious practices, not unlike Judaism which are out of date that continue to promote separation and discrimination.
The concepts of equality, individuality and entitlement have emerged as constructs that don’t completely respect, honor and embrace our differences. These concepts alone haven’t done much to teach us how to respect and get along with each other. What these “modern day” constructs have done is create and promote ongoing environments for tolerance and punishment for our differences. Putting our differences under a microscope in order to gather evidence to criticize and demean our inequalities. Leading us to a mere tolerance towards each other at best, instead of following the laws of nature and spiritual teachings where we can really honor and respect our differences and use them for the benefit of everyone involved.
There needs to be a new intimacy created between people that brings together our appreciation and differences for each other. A new kind of sacred intimacy if you will. One that isn’t limited to marriage or partners or lovers. The kind of intimacy that creates an inclusion and welcoming of all parts of ourselves. An intimacy that gets cultivated by friends, colleagues, and peers. Uninfluenced by any power dynamics such as political, teacher/student or client/practitioner. Free from presumptions, expectations, privilege, or entitlement.
I’m not exactly sure how it all will work but, what I do know is that the system of our acceptance and even the embracing of each other’s differences is not working particularly well these days. Has it every really worked? Has it typically been over the course of our existence that some humans will embrace the spirituality of our existence and others will stay locked in the matrix of the day-to-day insanity? These are just a few of the things I ponder in regards to all this.
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