In September of this year, I will experience my 55th trip around the sun. It’s hard to believe how fast the time goes by. At times, my body likes to remind me that I am no longer in my twenties anymore. In addition to the aging milestone, the next academic year I will be entering into my 25th year of teaching. The milestone for government workers where full benefits is available for those deciding to retire. Something I have planned on taking full advantage of for a long time.
Over the course of my life my parents looked at their jobs and careers very differently. My father taught me the lesson of following your dreams. That no job should get in your way of them. My mother taught me an awesome work ethic. I watched my father struggle to hold down a job and make a living. While I watched my mother thrive in her career and become a bit of a workaholic. I knew there was a balance between the two.
I worked hard in my career to get to where I am today. I also worked the system hard in Amerikkkah. I have been blessed with good fortune in addition to have been taught a good work ethic while following the purpose in my life. I have worked many jobs and side hustles to be able to retire at 55. Unfortunately, I just don’t feel staying in Amerikkkah is an option anymore.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
With a change of this magnitude, there will be some ambivalence and fear. I know it’s only natural. Life is full of ambivalence, isn’t it? My friend Stephen encouraged me to make friends with the resistance I had to my own ambivalence. As much of an exciting of an adventure I have when I travel, I do face into the questioning of life and existence. I’m pretty sure I came out of my mother’s womb asking her “why”!
After spending a sabbatical traveling and living in Asia back in 2018-2019, I returned home to the USA feeling like my country was not my home anymore. I even lived in my small apartment without unpacking all my stuff so a friend could live there. I felt more at home in Asia than I did in my own country. America being the leader and focusing on materialism, capitalism, corporatism, gun violence, for profit health care, made me feel as if it was time for me to find a different shit show I could relate to more.
My father was an inspiration for me as he followed his dreams in his career. I did the same thing pursuing being a chef and an educator. Packing up my stuff many times to move across the country and back. To start and finish school 1000s of miles apart. I have experience uprooting myself to follow my dreams and career path. This time, things are different.
I am too young to retire and stop working. I am fortunate enough to have worked the system to my advantage, planned far enough ahead and not have it be a necessity to have a job for income. However, there is a change of direction in my purpose. From a professional chef to college professor to, _______? That free-fall into the mystery accompanied by a foreign country with cultural and language barrier seems like the adventure of a lifetime, yet again.
All Things Considered – Connection
I have accumulated about 30 years of “stuff”. Not only real estate property and material items. But a comfortable support system, including medical professionals who I respect, along with many good friends. I have aged and gotten comfortable. Even if I have spent much time traveling around the world living out of a backpack for months at a time.
Now as I sit in Thailand after about a month of being away, my mind and body wander. I have made a few nice connections here in Thailand. Although these connections here don’t have the history and time investment as the ones I have back home. Building connections and a community for myself, which I believe is possible, will take some time. Probably more time at the age I am now, than if I were younger.
I am mostly an extrovert, and I find this aspect having to start over making friends, building relationships, and creating community a bit of a daunting task and most concerning for me at the moment. I am currently a foreigner and a tourist, a farang, as Thai people call it. Just a common way of referring to foreigners. I don’t speak the language and am learning and getting used to the culture.
The transactional relationship is very much alive here. One of my teachers calls it a “stage two” relationship… if I do this for you, you will do this for me. Stage two is a 50/50 style of relationship. They can be completely void of loyalty and when the need for transaction is no longer there, the relationship ends. After stage two comes the transformational relationship. A relationship where one person does something or gives something to another without any desire for reward. The relationship itself becomes the reward for both parties. IF there is to be a future together, the non-transactional relationship is the right one. Relationships can be both and can grow from one stage to the next.
All Things Considered – Health Care
I left for Thailand needing some dental work, a probable root canal. There was no way I was going to change my airline ticket and wait weeks for appointments with the dentist, endodontist and having a crown made. Only to have to pay top dollar, how little insurance will pay and miss out on my time in Thailand. So, I decided to come to leave and do it here. If I’m eventually going to move here, I might as well get used to things like this, right?
After a few days getting adjusted to the time change and jet lag, I made my way to the “dental hospital” where Thai royalty get their dental work done. I decided to be a walk-in patient and see what happens. I was greeted by the director/owner and within minutes I had a series of x-rays and scans and diagnosed as needing an emergency root canal. After a few hours, I had the entire procedure completed. I only had to return the following day for the completed crown. I’ve was treated so well, the people were great, and it cost me half as much as it would have in the USA. Go figure!
A friend went to get a checkup at a private hospital here in Thailand. Something similar happened to them. They were able to see multiple specialists in one day. This would have taken weeks to months in Amerikkkah.
I have more faith in the health care system here in Thailand than USA. I must do some more research about insurance, public vs private health care, retirement visas, social support systems, etc.
It’s a big decision and a big change to sell all your stuff and move halfway around the world where you don’t speak the language. The next chapter of my life is looking at me square in the face. These are the eyes I wished to be looking through during this time in Thailand. I know the answers are coming, I just have to be patient.
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