22 Jun 2021

What Was I Thinking?

by | posted in: Adventure | 0

Today is the fifth day on the road. I’ve really been taking it easy and not driving all day. Stopping when I need to take a break and seeing the things that I would like. The United States has its beautiful places just like other parts of the world. And the world is a bit off kilter with the covid19 pandemic.

I thought if I got off the eastern seaboard and into the middle of the country where the places are less populated things would be a bit easier. Boy, was I wrong in my thinking? When I arrived in Asheville, NC I thought my premonitions were correct. That was until I got to the Great Smokey Mountains in Tennessee. OMG, the roads are crowded, and the adjoining towns are packed. It’s like any beachfront town in the heart of the summer. UGH!

Hot Springs, Arkansas

I was excited to get to the hot springs in Arkansas. To sit in the baths and take a shower. Unfortunately, covid is taking its toll here in the Hot Springs National Park. There are very limited places for hot springs and if I stayed a few more days I could get in. There are lots of closed businesses and limited occupancy in the pools and hotels. So, I walk around this town wondering what to do next. I’m a bit perplexed what my next move is. So I write.

It’s taken me 5 days to travel 1700 miles. Which really isn’t too bad in terms of taking my time. When I went to Asia, I said I wanted to stay longer in one place than I was comfortable with. This was not my intention in what I was doing here. My intention was to not have an agenda, no reservations and no plan. Making my way to see my father and to the four corners area (UT, AZ, CO and NM) to meet some friends. I love the desert and the dry heat.

Hospitality Industry

The hospitality industry is hurting. Restaurants do not have enough workers. People are still scared around covid. Prices and inflation are on the rise. This is not just happening in Maine, but wherever I have been.

There are crowds everywhere and they are not able to get the services they desire due to this tough time in hospitality.

The Van…

The van is working out pretty good. I ran into a bit of an issue with the mattress. In attempt to get a quality mattress I had to cut the latex memory foam. I did an “ok” job with it but not spectacular. I wound up putting the three pieces into a L.L.Bean fleece sleeping bag. That is working out much better. I’m sleeping ok in the van. The nighttime temperatures are cool enough, and I have plenty of space to sleep.

The solar setup is a learning experience. I wanted to be able to have a house/service battery that is charged by the starter battery/alternator or a 120v outlet from a power inverter. To be able to charge the tablet, toothbrush, lights, vent fan and a small refrigerator. The setup went pretty well. I’m learning how to operate the battery monitor. Its not looking like the house battery is being charged but the other monitor says it is being charged. I have a 300w power inverter to charge things from the starter battery.

I hope to get a call from the company I bought all the equipment from to hopefully work some of this out.

What’s next?

When I was towards the end of my time in Asia I got food poisoning. During those few days I was recovering, my thoughts went to going home. That I had enough of the travel and it was time to get back. I was uncomfortable then. I am uncomfortable now.

It’s just funny to me how this country I live in has become all about the creation and obtaining creature comforts, collecting of “stuff” and avoiding the uncomfortable.

Just because I am uncomfortable does not mean I have to high tail it back home. I don’t want to be in my home. I spent enough time there in the last year.

Just because someone is uncomfortable does not mean that we need to make them comfortable and fix what is going on. Things will change, just sit, breathe and wait.

More will be revealed in time

….

20 Jun 2021

How Do You Do It?

by | posted in: Adventure | 0

How Do You Do It?

It’s quite the question, I know.  And I have not written on this blog in a while and am unsure how to use this open form of expression anymore. How should I do it? Many will say it’s too open and I need to be careful about how much I share about myself, let alone others I encounter. Yet, I still want to use my writing as a form of expression and be able to put it out there into the world… with the intentions of no shame or blame of any form brought upon myself or others. So, I continue…

What the _____?

All I can say is WTF has happened in the last three years? A year long sabbatical and travel to India & SE Asia, my father’s decline into dementia, a global pandemic… and now, currently, a new job at the college, traveling in a van for the rest of the summer and in Asheville, NC for a few days. Phew, how does life unfold for you and how might you push a project or direction to attempt to steer life’s unfolding? I imagine it’s a combination of both.

Post Sabbatical…

I fell in love with India and S.E. Asia. With the culture, with the people, with their religion and spirituality and with their family values. When I came home, I realized the way this country’s values (capitalism, consumerism) that I grew up in and completely prospered from was not the place that represented my personal values anymore. I came home from Asia and lived in an empty apartment for months. And when I finally got the courage up to unpack and settle back in, I didn’t have the attachment to my physical belongings anymore. It’s just “stuff” and after living for a year without “stuff” it was wonderful for me. You like your stuff, don’t you? Of course, you do! I do too!

International Travel…

My travel to South America was halted by the pandemic. As were many travel plans for everyone. Stay at home orders were issued… fear ensued. In March 2020 as I was coming home from Colorado visiting my father, the pandemic began and the college closed. In August 2020, I began in person teaching while the pandemic surged through the winter and just finished out the 2020/2021 academic year. I realized there most likely wouldn’t be international travel for a while. I’ve been itching to get out.

I found a good deal on small van in January 2021, a 2017 Ford Transit Connect and began to build it into a camper so I could travel this summer. I wanted to travel to the places in this country that have been calling to me and spend some time in others that I’ve been. This was a project that I took on and feared that I would give up on it for some reason or another. Whallah! Mission completed and I’m on the road.

A New Job !?!?!

Lastly, I was offered a new job at the college that I will be taking. Removing me from the kitchen and into some online teaching and working on some college wide initiatives. How this all unfolded is a bit of a long story that I will not get into here. I get to keep seniority and my official faculty position while responsibilities are revealed. While I have been asking for a change and it’s welcome, I remain a little ambivalent even after I accepted the position. A natural place to be, I guess.

On The Road Again…

Now I’m on the road. With a different kind of freedom. I don’t need a destination nor a reservation for anything. The accommodations aren’t perfect, yet super cool! Had a good night sleep last night in a well-lit parking lot I shouldn’t have been in. Will be making my way towards Arizona, Utah and Colorado through some less traveled roads and visiting my father.

This is how I am doing it. Taking the time to write and putting it out there. I hope you take the time for yourself and feeding your soul. How do you do it?

More to come….

Asheville, NC

 

 

5 Oct 2020

Listening with Empathy vs. Listening to Respond

by | posted in: Love, Personal Growth, Relationship, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

 

Well, well, well… it’s been a long while since I’ve written anything… not sure how to use this blog/website after being back from Asia for a year. I’ve been inspired by going back into the classroom during these times of covid by a really great group of students I have. This inspiration is from them and channeled through me. I only hope I can listen to their wisdom after 22 years of teaching.

 Listening is an art, and many people do not have the capacity for it, especially in the case of listening to the complaints and the suffering of others. In order to be able to listen, we need to learn how to transform the suffering in ourselves. One reason we are not good listeners is because in the listeners themselves, there is also much pain. Another reason that prevents us from being good listeners is that we can get distracted by our own ego and personal agendas. A powerful listener acknowledges that the person speaking will be heard and will be welcome to express themselves. And a wise listener and leader will validate anyone who is speaking.

Talking is also an art because if we have many internal formations within us and if we do not know the art of being mindful, then while speaking we shall be carried away by our feelings, our anger, and what we say may hurt people deeply. Both speaking and listening must, there­fore, be practiced together with working at transforming the internal forma­tions within us.

A wise leader knows how to listen and actually hear what others are saying. Epictetus, the Greek philosopher wrote: “We have two ears and one mouth — for a good reason.” It’s more important to listen than it is to talk most of the time. How else can we learn about what needs to be done to improve a situation? No one ever stops growing and evolving and one of the ways to learn (and learn about ourselves) is by listening to others. I have learned that most people do not listen well. In this day when everyone carries around a smartphone or tablet, people don’t focus on each other when they’re together. Unfortunately, this holds true for business people and leaders. 

Psychotherapy believes that if you have pain, you should be able to express it, but because the people around you also have a lot of pain, they are challenged and sometimes not able to listen to you. Each person is an island. If no one has the capacity to listen to another person, we feel very alone… we get sick… No communication is possible and we cannot tell anyone about our pain when we feel the other is not listening. The first task of a good listener is to sit quietly; no talking back. If people argue with us when we are speaking, if they talk back, then they are not effective listeners. We need people to sit and listen, not to give us unsolicited advice or condemnation, listening to each other with empathy. You can see very well when someone is truly listening, you can feel it; and when someone pretends to listen, you know that too.

When we care for and even love someone and if we truly want to make someone happy, the first thing we must cultivate is the art of listening, because listening is very healing. If we spend time listening to the pain of the person we love, he or she will be relieved. And listening without judging releases pain.  In the buddhist philosophy, we aspire to learn the bodhisattva way of listening, in order to help relieve the suffering in the world. Listening, in order to understand and not to respond. We evoke the bodhisattva name in order to practice listening with all our attention and open heartedness. Learn to sit still and listen without any prejudice and without judging or reacting. Listen in order to understand and not to just respond. We will sit and listen so attentively that we will be able to hear what the other person is saying so clearly and maybe even to also what the other person is leaving unsaid. Just by listening deeply, we can alleviate a great deal of pain and suffering in the other person.

So, we evoke the name of Avalokiteshvara and/or Guanyin, bodhisattvas who embody compassion, to practice the art of listening. Every one of us has the opportunity to be the bodhisattva. Each of us has an Avalokiteshvara bodhisattva inside waiting to grow. So, this is not exactly a prayer, but more a kind of mindfulness practice. We then evoke the name of the Avalokiteshvara Buddha in order to bring about greater capacity for listening, because listening is healing, relieving the suffering of the other person. 

In addition, by being human, our power of listening has its limitations. Therefore, the moment we feel that we cannot continue to listen, we have to tell the other, ‘I need a timeout’. To step away from this conversation in order to recharge so I can be a better listener. And we need to allow that to happen. We need to refuel ourselves with freshness; we need to practice meditation, yoga, drinking tea, being with children, anything that can bring back our balance. That is what doctors and psychotherapists have to do as well.

It may seem small and not that important, but some of the best leaders of our time have mastered the art of listening. The art of listening truly can take not only your leadership ability and your relationships to the next level, but also your success and likability as well, all of which help to create a healthy culture. 

17 Feb 2020

Trying to come home…

by | posted in: Adventure, Poetry | 0

Buddha & Mermaid

No, thank you,

I don’t want a conversation about the sport teams you like

While you lecture me about the political climate in the USA

And climate change

And plastic bags

And immigration vs racism

 

I don’t really think your bank account or your car

Proves much

And your art collection

Is a living piece of voodoo.

 

Many years ago

You were so busy

Making money and furthering your career

And establishing your perch

In the pecking order

Of society

 

Rolling your eyes

At us dreamers, tree huggers and lovers

 

Now, it is so very easy

For you to get and be appalled

By it all because,

It’s all the rage to be upset

Which costs you nothing

And any idiot can see the obvious

And not do anything but complain about it

 

And it was a shock to

NOBODY

Who was watching

When people voted in bullies, haters and supremacists’

As leaders of the free world

To demonstrate

How we are truly NOT free

 

Because

You do get

The government and leaders you deserve

And until YOU

Are willing to admit that you too

Have prospered from all this

Abuse

And thievery

And benefit to your social class

And the accumulation of your stuff

 

I would rather

Have a lobotomy

Performed by aboriginal people in the wild

Then take your advice and ingest your medicine

Of wine and concentration camp chicken salad

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