Some of What I Learned After One-Month In Cambodia

outwardlyrulebuddhaIt was REALLY hard to leave the white sand beaches and sleeping in a hut on top of the ocean on the island of Koh Rong Sanloem. It was everything I imagined that a mostly undeveloped island was going to look like. I’d highly recommend anyone to make the trip to this island. I’d make the strip sooner, rather than later because the place continues to develop rapidly. There are places with modern amenities like air conditioning and other places with yurts and cabins. It’s really your choice how much money you want to spend.

Siem Reap is a cute little hipster town that caters to the millions of tourists who make the trip to see the beautiful Angkor Temples spotted all over the place there. I got the 3-day temple pass and a motorbike, so I could more easily get around. I could have easily got the 7-day pass and spent more time in Siem Reap and less time in Phnom Penh. It was so darn hot every day… almost 100F. I found that getting an early start was the best option for me… about 5-530am and then taking a break during the middle of the day for lunch, shower and a nap, and then heading back to the temples for the sunset. Definitely made for a full day. The trip into the jungle waterfall and the national park (Thanks to Leen) was the icing on the cake for my time in Siem Reap.

In Siem Reap, I spent some of my time every few days at the markets gathering fresh produce, so I could cook. If I were to be there longer, there were a few restaurants I would like to have check out. Here are the few I missed…
http://cuisinewatdamnak.com/menu
https://www.malis-restaurant.com/siemreap/cambodian-cuisine/
http://pourestaurant.com/menu/

Cambodian-genocidePhnom Phen is Cambodia’s capital with millions of people and I got educated about the old Khmer government who was responsible for the genocide between 1975-1979 and the Killing Fields. I love going to the many traditional markets in the bigger cities and even though the stuff there all seems repetitive, they don’t usually get boring for me… Central Market, Russian Market and The Night Market. I missed the museums and the temples in Phnom Penh as I felt a bit touristed out from those kind of places after now, in my 7th month of travel. I learned to continue to listen to my body when in the big cities, I do not need to spend 7-10 days in these places… it’s turned out to be a bit of overkill for me when I’d rather be in more natural surroundings (like the beach or mountains) or historic places (like Angkor Wat).

Not All Money is Real

One of the things I learned was that not all banks are ethical and not all monetary bills are made equal. After getting $200US in counterfeit bills out of a major Cambodian bank ATM, I began to take seriously how to make a transaction with larger bills, not to take any ripped or torn currency and how to discern counterfeit money. I will now only make ATM transactions inside of banks that are open for business or at western union that has an ATM inside. For instance, when paying for something with a large bill like $50/$100, do not allow the person to take the bill away from you, have them bring the change back and then give them the bill. They could take the bill and then return it with a counterfeit saying you gave them a counterfeit. $100US = $400,000 Cambodian Riel and 1kg of rice is about $2500 Riel, so you get the idea of how far the US dollar goes in a poor country like Cambodia.

makingfreedomrealThe Struggle is Real  

The struggle for freedom… economic freedom, freedom to choose, freedom of expression… all the freedoms that some of us take for granted in the USA is alive in Cambodia.

When taking a taxi, use the mobile app PassApp. The taxi drivers on the streets are masters at getting people to spend way more money than they have to on transportation. When I say the struggle is real… this is one way that it shows up. There are so many taxis on the streets that all the drivers are constantly soliciting people walking down the street. I’ve asked a couple of them how they can make a living because there is such an abundance of taxis on the streets. Using mobile apps for transportation in S.E. Asia is the way to go in order to avoid negotiating on the street if you can.

Cambodian government seems to be more and more corrupt. Online social networks are under constant government surveillance. The Cambodian government issued a national decree, allowing the Ministries of Interior, Information, and Posts and Telecommunications to take down content on social media outlets and websites that the government deems to be “incitement, breaking solidarity, discrimination and willfully creating turmoil that undermines national security, public interest and social order.”

A series of repressive new laws and amendments were passed in 2018 that further restricted freedom of association. These included amendments to Cambodia’s Constitution to require that every Cambodian “defend the motherland” and empower the government to take action against political parties if they do not “place the country and nation’s interest first.” The repressive and controversial amendments to Cambodia’s Law on Political Parties, allowing for the arbitrary dissolution of political parties and the banning of party leaders without due process, remained in place.

Democracy and the freedom for the people to choose is at stake. Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen’s ruling party has banned the main opposition party, jailed its leaders and other critics and shut independent media outlets. Opposition politicians in exile are urging a voting boycott.

Cambodia needs three main things: the rule of law, social justice, and to ensure peace with neighbors, as long as there is a mutual respect for independence.

 

Development in Paradise and Our Collective Moral Values – Koh Rong Sanloem and Sihanoukville, Cambodia

trailtoroadToday is my last day in Koh Rong Sanloem before I make my way to Hanoi, Vietnam. This is one of the most beautiful islands I have ever seen that remains mostly untouched by development and is seeing its share of growing pains and environmental issues that are not unique to this part of the world. Unfortunately, there is evidence that the scythes of development has already made its mark on the last bastion of calm and peace across several spots in the quieter, more up-market island of Koh Rong Samloem. It’s something that deserves another voice, so I thought I’d write about it a little bit more than the linked articles are describing.

pollutionEvery night for the past week I have been awakened by some of the loudest outdoor music I have ever heard coming from The Jin Ding Hotel and Casino until about midnight. A newly opened Chinese hotel and casino on Koh Rong Sanloem. It’s this casino that has been accused of pouring raw sewage into the sea, ruining the beauty of the local beach, island resort owners are telling me. This morning, a guest of the place I have been staying, checked out early to find a more acceptable place to stay for her that might be able to block out the sound better.

Here is an example of how I witnessed corruption working…
I got pulled over on my motorbike in Thailand and was asked for my international drivers license, which I was unaware I would need and where most people do not have. I paid the $15US fine along with so many others… they were pulling over almost everyone on a motorbike directly in front of the police station and was taking money as fast as they could pull people over. I then went to a coffee shop and applied for an international drivers license and in under 2 hours I had one printed out and in my hands. This happened numerous more times to me in Thailand but, I had my license and was let go without a fine. Here in Cambodia I hear it’s much worse than in Thailand where you pay off the police officers as a “gesture” of complicity and generosity to the local economy. When I rented a motorbike in Siem Reap, Cambodia, I was told the locations of where the “sting operations” were and stayed away from them with success. This is only one example of police corruption.

What I find the most fascinating is the corruption that happens in this part of the world. Koh Rong Sanloem and Sihanoukville are prime examples. There are about 30 casinos in Sihanoukville with about 40 more being built by Chinese investors. A lot of the problem is the political corruption. ALL of the development is being completed by Chinese employees and when the casinos open the Chinese are staffing them. The costs of rooms and food at these casinos are even out of the price range of the locals. This is not bringing economic development to the people or the region. It is only padding a few peoples pockets. All of this is happening because the political system is corrupt and people are getting paid off to overlook domestic and environmental programs so only a few individuals can benefit.

This is something similar that is happening with The Jin Ding Hotel and Casino on Koh Rong Sanloem with the loud music. Domestic ordinances are in place saying any hotel that wants to have outdoor loud music events need to apply for a permit. Makes sense, right? So how do these guys get to play loud outdoor music EVERY NIGHT without recourse? Political corruption. Someone is getting paid off to overlook the issue and there isn’t much anyone can do about it… so they say.

poweralwaysattractspeopleIt’s not any different than what is going on inside the United States, only it’s on a different scale. A grander scale. We all know that eating too much meat and dairy is not a good thing. And yet the U.S. government still financially subsidizes the mass production of meat/dairy products and other items that have been determined not so good for us anymore. We all know that eating more fresh fruits and vegetables is healthier and it is also what doctors tell us… to stop eating so much meat/dairy products and eat more fresh fruits/vegetables and plants. So… why isn’t our governmental money being channeled differently for the benefit of the whole now that we all realize things need to change? Because there are a few individuals in the meat/dairy industry that are currently benefiting.  Something does not make sense to me. We have things backwards right now.

It brings up a question for me about morals and values. What are morals? The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy says the term morality can be used either… “descriptively to refer to some code of conduct put forward by a society or, other group, such as a religion, or accepted by an individual for his/her own behavior or: Normatively to refer to a code of conduct that, given specified conditions, would be put forward by all rational persons.” Basically, morality is some code of conduct.

“Morals are necessary because they reflect our values which contribute to the well-being of a society as well as the individual within that society. Conversely, the lack of them can bring about the deterioration of the fabric of a society with ensuing suffering.”, Increasing Moral Development, by Sharon Quinn.

758everythingissomeoneelsesfaultPeople and their governments cannot legislate or mandate morality, just take a look at the president of the united states and the questions surrounding him and that office and how it is operating right now. We cannot mandate equality or personal values or enforce them as “illegal”. There needs to be a shift in a greater group conscious. A shift in the morals and values in the greater collective that recognizes the unity of the whole, the sameness of each other and the knowing of who we really are.

Let’s take a look at the example of how casinos pop up all over the place… here in Cambodia and also in Maine and other places. There are laws that say gambling is illegal and therefore, not good for the health of the people and for the society. Yet the government says gambling is ok in some parts of the country like Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Presumably, the government says its ok after it says its not, is because gambling has always been around, and people will engage in that activity anyway. The first reason that gambling is outlawed, and the second reason has nothing to do with our health. It has to do with economics. Another way to say that is, power.

What I’m merely suggesting is that our personal agreements, collective operational codes of conduct and governmental laws be based on an ever-greater understanding and an employ a grander definition of what self-interests are and mean. What most laws are doing, is saying the most powerful among us has some sort of a vested personal interest.

problemslieatsourceofindividualI’m not saying a solution is going to be an easy one. Nor am I saying that I know of a solution that would work. I’m only asking myself some questions as I experience and discover more of the world and attempt to make myself part of world consciousness and not just my own self-centered ego driven one.

One of the basic questions I’m asking myself is: Can any of our individual self-interests ever be replaced by the best collective and common interests of humankind and the ecology of the planet? If so, how? By eliminating all separations. By constructing a new model of the world and holding it within the framework of a new collective group consciousness… knowing we are all the same… we are all brothers and sisters in the same family… connected, even if we are on opposite ends of the planet.

 

Making The Choice… We Are Born Into Love, We Are Conditioned To Fear – Koh Rong Sanloem, Cambodia

allthatweareistheresultofwhatwehavethoughtI wrote a blog about being stripped of identity and it’s been occupying time and space inside of me these last several days. Not because I think there was anything wrong about what I wrote but, because there was a missing piece in that writing, a part 2 if you will. Something that, during these last several days of being able to completely slow down to a halt here in tropical paradise has made me contemplate even more. It’s amazing what complete stillness can do.

What if everything that happens is perfect? What if that being left hanging at the ferry terminal with no communication from the lodge was meant to happen and perfect for me? What if this experience here in Cambodia is unfolding so perfectly. Ugh… how I’ve resisted that sentiment so many times because of negative emotions that I think I have been able to let go of and then they resurface again. After some time, I continue to come back to the concept of “What if everything that happens is perfect?”, as being completely for my benefit. And then I can eventually see it is totally true.

Why does it take time to come around to being at peace and with accepting what is while I hold on to some of these negative feelings for a while?

Fear Attracts Fear

Why? Because I’m scared, angry, tired, upset or a combination thereof… Why? Because I’m allowing my own fear to get the best of me. I’m scared of being abandoned by the people that said they would be there for me. I spoke about that wound in my other writing stripped of identity. When I get a taste, or even a mere scent of that happening, I get scared and think the world is against me and I feel like I have to fight for the sake of my own survival. As much as I work so hard and want that fear to go away, it actually reveals an underlying belief that nobody will be there for me. Even though I know deep down it is totally not true. I get caught in a vicious circle of my own self-created misery. I realize this is part of being human and everybody that’s willing to admit their humanity has a wound that sometimes has them temporarily stuck.

I’m attracting what I fear.

I fear the energy of abandonment; therefore, I’m attracting it in my life? YES! That which I fear strongly I will be looking out for and find and experience. Like energy attracts like energy—forming “clumps” of energy of like kind. When enough similar “clumps” crisscross each other—run into each other—they “stick to” each other and when that happens enough times it forms “matter”. This built up “matter” creates a belief that fears are true and I should be looking out for it to happen once again. Once energy becomes matter, it becomes “sticky” and remains for a very long time—unless it is disrupted by an opposing, or dissimilar, form of energy. This dissimilar energy, acting upon matter, actually dismembers the matter, releasing the raw energy of which it was composed.

So how do I dismantle this negative and unnerving energy that does not serve me? Or any other adverse fearful energy? How am I going to “create” a reality that is more in tune with who I am? Because, I am not my story, or my history or my fear!

I need to remember that I can be the person I am meant to be and keep on creating the person that I want to be. I can perform the actions and behave like the person I am meant to be. I can have whatever I can possibly imagine for myself in my life. I can be the person who makes connections and doesn’t let my fear drive the bus. Why is it so hard to take my own medicine sometimes? We teach what we need to learn… so I write about it. ????

The Grand Polarity of Love and Fear

Can you feel the opposing forces of polarity that I’m writing about? The negative emotions where I feel my own self collapsing, while at the same time, the realization that life is unfolding completely for my benefit? This is the duality inside of the human condition, as I like to call it. Fear being at the polar opposite end of love. These are the only two places of being on the physical plane: fear and love.

Thoughts rooted in fear will produce one kind of manifestation and thoughts rooted in love will produce another. Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy which expands, extends, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals. Fear wraps our bodies in armor, love allows us to stand naked, vulnerable.

thevortex2I’m reminded of the spiritual masters who have walked the planet (Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Moses, Muhammad, and others) are those who have chosen only love. In every instance. In every moment. In every circumstance. Even as they were being killed, they loved their murderers. Even as they were being persecuted, they loved their oppressors. This is what every Master has done. It doesn’t matter what the religion, it doesn’t matter what the faith or tradition. And I’m bitching about not being picked up at the ferry terminal, getting counterfeit money our of the ATM, and being asked not to enter into the kitchen?

How could I have possibly forgotten what that voice of love sounds like? Here’s a reminder just in case. The highest voice inside is always the thought which contains joy. The clearest choice of words are those words which contain truth. The most glorious feeling is the one that is called love. Joy, truth, love. These three are interchangeable and interconnected, and one always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed. The make the circle of life feel complete.

Creating vs. Discovering

withoutdarknessnothingcomestobirthI (we) have been put here on this earth to “create” my own reality and not believe I am a product of my family or my history.  I am here to experience and discover all that the world and life has to offer, which is one reason I went on this sabbatical. Many people have told me that this sabbatical-travel is to help me realize my own becoming or for discovering more of who Maurice actually is. Uhhh, No. I’m here to create the self I want to be in this world by experiencing all that the world and life has to offer.

I want to be a creator of who I am in my life, not a discoverer of myself. I am here, we are all here, to experience in our lives the highest feeling of love that we can possibly imagine and extend it back out to everyone and the world. This doesn’t mean diminishing or discarding the negative feelings or emotions (hatred, anger, lust, jealousy), but to feel and experience ALL OF IT. All of the polar opposites. The everything that life has to offer. How can I choose love if I have not experienced the absence of love? How can I learn how to forgive until I know what it’s like to be merciless? How would I know what success is unless I’ve been unsuccessful?

thichWho am I if I am not the things that I may have identified myself as on this physical plane? The same as who you are too. I am goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. I am peace and joy and light. I am forgiveness and patience, strength bravery and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. I am the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. I have had moments of my life where I have known myself to be these things. I am continually given more and more opportunities to choose to know myself as these things.

It’s my job to make the choice. To choose love like the spiritual masters have done in every situation… to choose the best of who I am, the truth of who I am… without condemning or doing harm to myself for not choosing “right”, or thinking I need to attack someone, or reject somebody else’s perspective, or making a religion or teaching “wrong”. I do not want to do harm to the things I have not chosen in favor of my own perspective. By doing that, I am selfishly making my half… the entire whole. How can I possibly understand my half when I’ve just rejected the other half?

Make the choice.

now!

Now!

NOW!

… and choose love once again!


We have shown that hearts can change and a different future is possible when we refuse to be prisoners of the past.
– President Obama 2018 – Hanoi, Vietnam


Side Note about Cambodia and Vietnam…

Cambodia

Cambodia was a French protectorate beginning in 1863 before it gained independence in 1953.  The Vietnam War extended into the country with the US bombing of Cambodia from 1969 until 1973. Following the Cambodian coup of 1970 which installed the right-wing pro-US Khmer Republic, the deposed king gave his support to his former enemies, the Khmer Rouge. The Khmer Rouge emerged as a major power, taking Phnom Penh in 1975 and later carrying out the Cambodian genocide from 1975 until 1979, when they were ousted by Vietnam and the Vietnamese-backed People’s Republic of Kampuchea, supported by the Soviet Union in the Cambodian–Vietnamese War (1979–91). Following the 1991 Paris Peace Accords, Cambodia was governed briefly by a United Nations mission (1992–93). The UN withdrew after holding elections in which around 90 percent of the registered voters cast ballots. The 1997 factional fighting resulted in the ousting of the government by Prime Minister Hun Sen and the Cambodian People’s Party, who remain in power as of 2018.

tibetan-quotes-2

Vietnam

During the 3rd century BC, ancient Vietnamese people inhabited modern-day northern Vietnam. In 179 BC. Vietnam became part of Imperial China for over a millennium from 111 BC to 939 AD. An independent Vietnamese state emerged in 939 following Vietnamese victory in a battle against the Southern Han. Successive Vietnamese imperial dynasties flourished as the nation expanded geographically and politically into Southeast Asia, until the Indochina Peninsula was colonized by the French in the mid-19th century.

French Indochina saw the Japanese occupation in 1940 amidst the escalation of World War II. Following Japanese defeat in 1945, the Vietnamese fought French rule in the First Indochina War. On 2 September 1945, Vietnamese revolutionary leader Hồ Chí Minh declared Vietnam’s independence from France and therefrom established a provisional communist state. After nine years of war, the Vietnamese declared victory. The nation was thereafter divided into two rival states, communist North—the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, and anti-communist South—the Republic of Vietnam. Conflicts intensified in the Vietnam War with extensive US intervention in support of South Vietnam from 1965 to 1973. The war ended with North Vietnamese victory in 1975.

mariannewilliamson

 

 

 

I was wondering why abandonment might have surfaced so strongly while I am here in Cambodia and transitioning to Vietnam while I’m in the middle of watching Ken Burns Vietnam War TV Series. Then as I did a little research about the history of these countries, pieces began to fall into place. These countries have experienced many wars and occupations by foreign countries, only to be “abandoned” by these countries and left to their own devices to develop once again. That’s what happened in Vietnam by the USA and what happened in Cambodia by the French.

It’s never too late to keep on choosing love over fear.

Developing Countries (Cambodia), Everything is a Dream – The Island of Koh Rong Samloem

sunsetIt’s a new moon… night of darkness. A reminder of what might be working astrologically speaking…

The Aquarius New Moon cycle ends and the Pisces New Moon cycle begins. The New Moon in Pisces is a good time to commit to personal goals that express the positive energies of the sign of the Fish. These include taking a leap of faith, accepting imperfections in ourselves and in others as a different kind of “perfection,” starting a project that requires imagination and visualization skills, consciously putting time aside for peaceful and rejuvenating activities, and sharing a dream with another. With this potent Pisces energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives.

This New Moon is especially creative and imaginative with its conjunction to Neptune, square to Jupiter, and sextile to Mars. We are likely to feel very inspired, and this New Moon can motivate us to take a leap of faith, but we also check in with reality with Saturn’s sextile to the lunation. It also occurs shortly after Mercury stationed and turned retrograde and Uranus entered Taurus, and some instability or lack of clear judgment is likely now.

This phase of the Moon occurs at 15 degrees and 47 minutes of Pisces, affecting people born with personal planets and points at approximately 12 to 20 degrees of the Mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces) most significantly.


From one bliss after another, huh Faye? ???? Oh man, do I want to be in that mind set at the moment and write all about how blissful I am and how absolutely fantastic this entire journey is. Here I sit on this gorgeous island in Cambodia and forced to deal with myself to find a more peaceful state of mind, so I thought I’d write about it… to get the bitterness and negativity out of me and also try to use some of the dharma I’ve learned and hope to practice, on myself. I am not looking for any sympathy or any “I’m sorry” that you have to deal with this kind of thing. I’m using this venue to let go of any of my own self-created torment that I put upon myself (it cannot come from anyone else) and find a place of relaxation into what is altogether.

junglebayecolodge01After spending three weeks in Siem Reap and Phnom Penh I wanted to fulfill a desire to go sit on some pristine and mostly untouched beach with white sands and turquoise waters that I thought I would be able to accomplish in Thailand. I decided on the island of Koh Rong Samloem in Cambodia and to stay at the Jungle Bay Eco-Lodge. I was drawn to this island because I heard it’s only been about the last ten years that they have been developing and building on this island. And because the bungalows are built on the ocean was something I always wanted to experience.

junglebayecolodgeUp to this point I seem to have done pretty good with acceptance of what is when it comes to traveling to foreign countries, dealing with the survival/scarcity consciousness of some people in poor cultures and with some of my accommodation issues. When I was in Siem Reap I had a wonderful experience staying at a gorgeous villa with kind and generous hosts. When I went to Phnom Penh I stayed at a place in a fabulous central location, but the mattress needed to be replaced, I don’t think the floor has been cleaned in weeks… and I was getting caught between the host/owner of the building and his tenants who were somehow taking on some hosting responsibilities. ONWARD to the next…

 

junglebayecolodgeroomviewI was so excited to get out of the city and come to an island that I heard was under developed and live in a hut on top of the ocean. Sounds wonderful, right? Firstly, I have been making decisions on my Airbnb stays based on the properties having “super-hosts”, people that have gotten stellar reviews from people that stay there. After doing research on Koh Rong Samloem on Airbnb and other booking sites, there were mixed reviews for a lot of the properties here and I didn’t want to spend a lot of money.

I went against what I’ve normally done for Airbnb. I chose a property that did not have a superhost, but it had mostly good reviews. I had a decent initial first communication with someone who also told me that they would welcome me to play in the kitchen and for my input considering this is only their second season in operation. So, I decided to book the place for a week. After that, it’s been going downhill… the host on Airbnb stopped communicating with me in email messaging and as it turns out, is not physically on the property. After being told I was going to be picked up at the ferry dock, I was left hanging there, they did not answer their phone when I called, and I decided to walk the 20 minutes through the beach and the jungle to the lodge. Not a good first impression. After spending one evening helping out in the kitchen which seemed to go fine, I was told by one of the volunteer workers that it would no longer be possible for me to be in the kitchen. I think it’s just a personality conflict.

beachHere I sit on my second full day on this gorgeous island and I’m going to allow myself to feel bitchy and irritated? It sounds completely stupid and even reading my own writing about it and looking at myself in these words seems even more ridiculous. There is a sore spot/wound within me that is being rubbed the wrong way and hurts after all of this. This open wound is very inconvenient and problematic now. I don’t like it. I want to be tough, to fight, to come out strong, so I don’t feel I have to defend any aspect of myself. I would like to attack the people running this lodging facility right now, single-handedly. I would lay my guilt trips on everybody completely and properly, so that I do not hide any of my hurt. That way, if somebody decides to attack me back, I am not wounded. And hopefully, I won’t get hit on that same sore spot, that I got hit on in the first place.

Yet I truly believe that our basic human makeup… the basic constituents of our human mind, is based on goodness, kindness, passion and compassion… all at the same time. But, however confused I might temporarily be right now, however much of a cosmic monster I might become, there is still an open wound or sore spot in me… always… no matter how much work I may have done in group or individual therapy or publicly at retreat centers. I continue to be vulnerable and accessible and I’m not covered in a suit of armor. And here I am sitting in it all. Fantastically Wonderful… right? UGH!

I’m determined NOT to sit here and be irritated by what is happening and out of my control and feel sorry for myself. It’s not really about the circumstances, is it now?!?! So, then what? Wat To Do? I need to remember some of my own medicine.

allthatweseeisinadreamOne of the practices in the Buddhist tradition (Buddhadharma) is to regard anything that happens as a phantom or a dream. That nothing ever really happens. It means that whatever life experiences happen—pain, pleasure, happiness, sadness, grossness, refinement, sophistication, crudeness, heat, cold, or whatever—is purely from our memory. What is perceived is a product of the mind that uses the bodies senses to create perceptions.

There is this other teaching/dharma I recall from vipassana, meaning “awareness”, that helps support this idea that everything happens is a dream. When reflecting on the breath during meditation, suddenly meandering thoughts begin to arise: the mind begins to see, hear and feel things. But all those perceptions are none other than my own mental creation. In the same way I need to see that my irritation for what’s going on at Jungle Bay Eco-Lodge, the missing I experience for my friends, my attitude towards the Cambodian bank for dispensing me counterfeit money, how I want to experience cultural cuisine during my travels, are all a part of my discursive thought process that my mind is so good at.

The vipassana practice is about awareness of the breath and the body. The practice coupled with that is about mindfulness (shamatha). Joining these two covers most of our entire existence, behavior patterns and daily life. This is where meditation and post meditation practice meet. Where mindfulness and awareness happen simultaneously, all at the same time. Where a sense of friendliness to everything is developed.

Sitting here on the beach appreciating the beauty of the island I’m surrounded in, while dealing with my open wound and perceived negativity that my mind is bringing to me. I am being harshed and gentled all at the same time.  I COULD have a tender heart in this situation and offer a heart that does not ask for anything in return. It’s obvious that I stepped on someone’s toes. I do not have to get on my high horse and get all sensitive about it.

Can I try to feel better towards the people at the bank who gave me counterfeit money and to the people at the lodge I’m staying? Can I try to extend that sense of gentleness, goodwill and gratitude in attempt to make myself soft and reasonable?

I’m still learning and practicing…
      • How to be open and accepting
      • How to love in the face of being my own cosmic monster
      • Realizing that others can actually be more important than me
      • Practicing compassionate communication
      • Being without expectations

These are some of the hardest things of all for me to learn. (This writing has helped immensely.)

 

Everything that is happening is a dream that I am making up in my own mental creation. I am creating my own reality at every moment. Only I am the only one responsible for how I feel. There is nothing standing in the way for me to choose peace and love. Why do we make things so complicated sometimes when they should be so easy?

beachhammock

 

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