1 Dec 2018

Teaching In Pokhara, Nepal – Happiness is Happiness / Truth is Truth – November 30, 2018

by | posted in: Adventure, Personal Growth, Relationship, Sabbatical, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

It’s just amazing to me what unfolds when I can let go of making things in my life happen. My housemate here in Pokhara,Nepal asked if I wanted to be introduced to his hospitality teacher, Arun,  who owns Standard Hotel & Language Training Institute. I am usually up for meeting new people, I am my father’s son after all. ???? After making a plan to attend one of his cooking classes, it was cancelled right at the last minute and instead I was invited to go meet him a restaurant on the north side of Phewa lake. My spider sense was tingling because he was not answering his phone after many attempts within an hour’s time right when I was supposed to meet him.

Something I’ve learned while here in India and Nepal is that there are a lot of people not good at keeping their word or having basic consideration for others time through good communication. I realize this is something that happens everywhere and not just India/Nepal, I’m just finding it more prevalent since I’m in my third month of travel. I’ve learned to specifically ask people to communicate with me when making arrangements should plans need to change and give others a second chance to make good on their word. I like to think that people generally mean well and are good natured.

After many attempts to communicate unsuccessfully and finally able to decide I went against my intuition to cancel and found my way to the north side of the lake to a restaurant where Aron was consulting. I only had a few minutes with him because he was working. Aron was more interested in consulting work then he was after 10 years of teaching which I can completely understand. I’m still not sure of the last-minute cancellation of the cooking class. I sat with a couple of men, one was Sanjay, a managing partner of Himalayan Java Coffee, a major coffee house franchise here in Nepal and another man, Sudip, who is an instructor at Novel Academy here in Pokhara. I had some great conversation with these other two men and we exchanged phone numbers to get together in the future.

I was asked if I would be interested in coming to the college to be a guest speaker in Sudip’s Operations Management classes. Of course, I could not resist to see what it was like in college here in Nepal. The boys sat on one side of the room and the girls sat on the other. There was one projector that could connect to someone’s laptop to project on the wall. No audio other than the speakers on the laptop. There was a wireless internet connection but only 10mbps speed which is good for here in Nepal.

What I experienced was that the students were used to instructors lecturing to them. What I call “chalk and talk” instructors. The classroom environments I experienced lacked activities, online course presence and instructors that were genuinely interested in how the students were grasping the material. I was able to engage the MBA students a little bit more than the first year Business Admin students. I was able to talk some about business operations from a hospitality standpoint and attempted to get them to ask questions with moderate success.

One of my favorite parts of teaching is getting underneath the material being covered and into the heart and minds of my students. Asking them exploratory questions which help them find the truth of what motivates them to follow their dreams, how to be happy, finding their passion in life and what will motivate them to get out of bed in the morning. I’m finding that the people in this part of the world are more interested in this topic than the students in America. The classroom was full of students talking softly to each other when I was talking about restaurant business operations… and when I started talking about this other stuff you could hear a pin drop in the room. You know truth when you hear it.

One of the students during their introduction said what he wanted to be when he grows up was “happy”. Another said he wanted to spend more time with their family. Another student asked for some advice in how to stay motivated when facing adverse conditions. What wonderful responses and inquiries that I had never heard before. This gave me some really fantastic material to guide me. When we were getting towards the end of the class time I found an opportunity to talk about happiness and the motivation we must cultivate to be happy when we aren’t able to locate it around us.

I proceeded to tell the class that our happiness and motivation is our individual responsibility and if we are looking for it somewhere outside of us we are looking in the wrong place. One of the ways I was saying to them to find our inner peace and happiness was to figure out what motivates us to get out of bed in the morning. What it is that we are called to do in service to humanity that draws out our truest and most unique personal gifts that nobody else can give to the world.

We were finishing the class with a conversation about what it means to be successful and I asked that question to the class. I got some great unexpected answers. I was expecting to hear a lot about financial profit as a determining factor for success. What I got were answers like achieving goals, inspiring people personal satisfaction, being happy and having a positive mental attitude. Wow! I was amazed at these first-year students seeing something beyond money as a determining gauge for success. I then invited them to look at this a little bit differently. Our success is determined by the success of the people who are employed by us and the success of the people whom we are doing business with. If we all are thriving in our personal lives and our professional lives, then we all are successful.

After these two classes I was able to meet the CEO of the academy. We spoke of the lack of student centered learning and I was asked if it was possible to give a workshop to the instructors to educate the faculty about student centered learning and the techniques involved. After I get back from my trek into the Annapurna Mountains I will follow up on this. Of course, I’m no expert on Student Centered Learning but I think there’s something I can do to help these people out engage their students a little bit better.

There was a last-minute invitation for me to speak at a welcome and graduation banquet for the academies nursing department. They were welcoming the new students and passing the flame from the graduates to the new students. I had some time and I couldn’t pass that up. It was a wonderful opportunity and I was concerned that I wasn’t prepared with anything to say. There were about 150 people there and I was the only American. I did the best that I could, and I didn’t feel good about it at all. The CEO said I did OK and I think he was being nice about it. I learned that I needed some time to prepare before making a commitment to speak in front of a crowd like that.

 

It’s a little strange not to be surrounded with x-mas music and all the consumerism associated with the holiday season. It makes me feel like it really isn’t December or the Christmas season.

I will be off the grid for 8 days as I make a trek into the Annapurna Mountains. You can google Poon Hill trek and Annapurna hot springs trek to find out more if you’d like to know where I’m going.

 

28 Nov 2018

Ego/World Centric Thinking & Responsible Tourism in Pokhara, Nepal with Tibetan Encounters

by | posted in: Adventure, Personal Growth, Sabbatical, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

I thought about traveling to the Mt. Everest region while I was here. Go big or go home has been a familiar mantra for me so traveling to Everest fits that so appropriately. After looking into the possibility of going to Lawudo Gompa and finding out the flights there were cancelled 5 days in a row due to weather, I realized after talking to people that I am a little late in the season to be traveling to those altitudes. It is going into winter here in the northern hemisphere. It’s not that it isn’t possible, it’s just that it comes with the risk of taking days to get in/out of the small towns by airplane, having to wait out weather in the villages due to weather, not to mention the cold and wind. Plus, I wanted to get out of Kathmandu anyway and there are many other options.

It was great to be out of Kathmandu and land in Pokhara where the air quality improved 50%. The bus ride was a little crazy on a road that could barely get two trucks by each other going in the opposite direction without coming to almost a complete stop. The windows on the bus were in such a location that you couldn’t see the road very much which I think was a good thing because it got a little scary at times. A 200km drive took about 7 hours, where in the USA the same ride would take about 3 hours. The bus I was on was a luxury style bus. The pictures on their website is of the brand-new bus. The reality of it all is that it’s not well maintained and dusty and dirty. And it was nice to just be out of Kathmandu.

As I got closer to Pokhara the lines of the 8000m Annapurna mountains came into view. Suddenly, my body and mind got still and knew I was heading into the right direction. Ever since I left the big cities of Chicago, San Francisco and New York and moved to Maine, I grew very appreciative being part of nature and in nature. We cannot escape the law of nature anyway so might as well accept that and follow the rules. I’ve become in awe of this place near the Annapurna Mountain Range.

One of the things I have learned to enjoy in my previous travels is allowing myself the time to settle in to places and not feel so much pressure to take in all the sightseeing and things to do because time is so limited. When I first arrive somewhere I’m typically tired from a long journey of hundreds or thousands of kilometers and need to rest. I planned to stay in Kathmandu for a week and I didn’t know that would be too much time for me to be there. Life is mysterious and full of learning… suffering is optional… and it’s nice to feel like I could hang out in Pokhara for a while.

The Airbnb I am staying at is run by a Tibetan man, Thupten, who runs a company called Tibetan Encounters. Thupten’s parents escaped from Tibet while China was attacking Tibet and his family landed here in Nepal in a refugee camp in 1959 around the same time the Dali Lama escaped. When I was in South Africa I took a tour of the tenements where the native south Africans were forced to live during British rule before the abolition of apartheid and it helped me understand the culture a bit better while I was there. There is a history of Nepal and the people here, as well as Tibet and why Tibetans are here in Nepal that I needed to experience and was most likely the reason I landed in at his Airbnb. What I learned was a big reminder of why I am a teacher, coach and spiritual guide and what I need to continue to be doing.

I’m sure you are waiting for me to tell you what it was that I learned, right?

I’m not going to get into the history of Tibet, China and Nepal because you can look all that up on the internet. Nepal is a developing country and rated one of the poorest in the world. People here in Nepal are trying to survive just to put food on their plates and have a roof over their head that doesn’t leak regardless if they are Tibetan or Nepalese. Did you know the Nepal government has never granted any of the Tibetan people rights to get a passport, or get a job here or even own a car or property? And that’s over 50 years ago. I was astounded…

The USA is a melting pot where people have escaped war torn countries, genocide or just wanted a better way of life for themselves. People, no matter where they came from, had the chance to eventually get work, get citizenship and gain the basic human needs to survive in the United States. They still retained their dignity. Something is happening very differently here.

I’ve had several conversations since I’ve been here in Pokhara with Nepalese and Tibetans and have learned a lot about the culture, the economy and their religion. One of the things that I’m having a hard time accepting is the treatment of the Tibetans in their refugee camps… or as I would like to call them now, over 50 years later… their villages. Some of the Nepalese people and the government here have this idea that since Nepal is a developing country they cannot offer the Tibetans basic rights to get work, become citizens, get passports and own property because that would take away the opportunities from the local Nepalese people.

Sure, taking care of our own country and our own selves makes sense on one hand and in a small minded and ego centric sort of way but, the United States has not operated in that kind of way when people left their countries. I can feel this way of being as I walk around town and see the MANY shops selling the knockoffs of North Face products with all the owners saying they will give the best deal to me… better than their competition, even right next door. I’m really good at the bickering and haggling over price and I also have a good time doing just that. But, most everyone here is just trying to survive to make a living and there’s something about the haggling to get the best price is making me think.

One of the things that I’ve learned over the years is how we gauge success, not by how much money we have in the bank at the end of the month but, how much others in relationships to us are being successful. I even wrote about it at the beginning of my India stay and it’s once again revealing itself to me here in Nepal. Responsible Tourism is the buzz word that comes to mind. Check out the definition of responsible tourism here.

During my stay in Kerala, India and working with a couple of people trying to plan a cultural and culinary tour of the area I was turned on to responsible tourism thanks to Linda and Nayab. While on a tour with Thupten of Tibetan Encounters  I witnessed the way Thupten gives back to his village and not just take from them and I have a lot of respect for how he is operating by giving back to his village in Nepal where a lot of people are just struggling just to survive.

Even in these developing countries like Nepal and India I am learning by others’ example and living what it means to be a world-centric thinker versus an ego-centric thinker. I can see the people who are looking out for only themselves to survive and I can feel the people with hearts who, not only are looking after themselves but, are also giving back to the community and the world.

Having this experience has continued to allow me to expand my own thinking from ego-centric to world-centric ways of being in the world. and it makes me wonder how an expanded way of looking at giving back to the community and the world might look to put into action leading by example.

I’m curious to know how you have gotten out of your ego-centric ways of being so you can offer your best and most unique gifts to the world. Post a comment here or just email me… I’d love to hear about it.

 

      

22 Nov 2018

Kathmandu, Nepal – November 22, 2018

by | posted in: Adventure, Sabbatical, Spiritual | 0

I have had four full days here in Kathmandu, Nepal and it feels like it’s time to write. Even after only two months (versus two LONG months ????) I still find it hard to give myself the time to take a day off to do laundry, take a nap, write, meditate because there’s so much to do and see and my time feels very limited. I guess in some way time is limited if I want to look at this one and only precious life we are given. What is time anyways…. I digress…

After two months in India which flew by, my visa was expiring, and it was time to leave. Nepal was my next planned stop. The only things I knew about Nepal was that it’s a poorer country than India, the Himalayas, it’s mostly Hindu and the birthplace of Buddha.  What I would be walking into is a mystery, once again.

I decided to take the least expensive flight from Cochin, Kerala, India to Kathmandu. This meant an almost 12-hour layover in Delhi. Lucky me, I got to meet a new friend who lives in Delhi and have a wonderful lunch and feel connected to another beautiful human being. On the other hand, it meant being picked up at 2am and after about 40 hours with no real sleep I arrive at my destination in Kathmandu exhausted.

Arriving at the airport was a free for all. From the moment the airplane came to a stop people were jockeying for position to exit the airplane which meant pushing up against each other as if there was some precious black Friday deal to be had. I’ve gotten used to the narrowing of my personal body space, but this was a little much. Anyway… after getting off the airplane it was time to get my visa and go through customs. There were many computer terminals to input my passport data, where I’m staying and how long I wanted to stay. I paid my $100US and then got my visa stamped in my passport. Nobody asked me a single question and getting through was easy. Even going through security, it was as if there weren’t any security guards watching the metal detectors or the monitor screen where the bags were being inspected. I met a retired Indian Navy undercover soldier and now I understand why he said Nepal is a place where potential terrorists make their residence. I got a SIM card for my phone and a taxi ride to my home-stay which was 10 min away. Here I am in Nepal tired and exhausted. You know what it’s like to arrive in a new and different place, it’s exciting no matter how tired you are. And I think I might reconsider this choice of travel next time.

I’ve been having great fortune in my decisions of lodging at home-stays that are listed in Airbnb and also staying outside the cities (about 3-4km) in quieter neighborhood settings.  I’m staying with a Nepalese family here in Kathmandu, about a 15 min walk to the main Hindu temple, Pashupatinath, and close to Boudhanath, where one of the largest stupas in the world is located. I’m about 4km from the hustle and bustle of Thamel.

After an “OK” night’s sleep and a good meal I take Rabi up on his offer to take me into Thamel on the back of his motorbike as he makes his way into his work. I wanted to see what Thamel was all about. It’s full of all the stores selling knockoffs of NorthFace gear, Nepal trinkets, handmade Nepalese crafts, during the day. At night, Thamel transitions into party central. I witnessed this place go from moderately crowded before 6pm to really crowded. Close by to Thamel is also Asan Market, the main market in Kathmandu. There is so much to look at and so many things being sold. I was in Thamel to buy a jacket to keep me warm and after talking to several people I settled for one.

Hanuman

I was given some good advice about the foods I eat when traveling to this part of the world. To eat only the foods that have been cooked through and hot and only the raw fruits that you have to peel first. I haven’t been eating meat very much either. The few times I have eaten meat were the times I had witnessed the animal slaughtered or knew it was freshly slaughtered. I don’t even miss eating meat. I think this could be my first step into vegetarianism. After getting to Kathmandu and subconsciously feeling like I’m some kinda hotshot I met a new friend in Kathmandu and shared a pizza. Oh Man, that was a mistake. I got my first dose of food poisoning. Luckily it did not come with a fever, just some uncomfortable stomach issues that were resolved in about 24 hours. Ok… back to eating hot foods and peeled fruits. I’m getting used to and liking the combination of masala tea (chai), rice, dal, chapati and curried vegetable.

Some of the beautiful Nepalese faces
More Nepalese Faces

 

Burning Fires

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shiva Temple
Live Cremation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After taking a day off to rest, I went to the main Hindu temple, Pashupatinath, and to Boudhanath. I’ve been enjoying walking around where I need to go as long as it’s about an hour in one direction (approx. 3-4km). The streets of Kathmandu are full of construction, some of which is from the April 2015 7.8 earthquake. The roads and sidewalks are torn up and there is so much dirt and dust in the air that you need a mask on your face to prevent breathing it in. Blech! I bought a good mask and it makes all the difference.

I think I could tour around the world to places with temples and cremation ceremonies. Entering Pashupatinath temple was another example. For you history buffs, some history about the temple can be found here. There were 5 cremations going on at the same time and full of families and people. It was nothing compared to the 20 or so cremations going on at the same time in Varanasi at the Manikarnika Ghat.  There is something about the process that happens at these temples that the Hindu tradition embraces that is cleansing and real. I think because most westerners are far from removed from the conversation of death and even of their own mortality and here in the Hindu faith it is real and in your face. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that India is so highly populated and have a lower life expectancy than most western countries?

From there I walked another 20 min to Boudhanath to see the Buddhist culture and the stupa. Here’s a cool video of the place here. I somehow feel right at home here too. The place is super clean compared with the Kathmandu streets surrounding it. You walk into the circle and you know you are in the midst of Buddhism… nonviolence, peacefulness and acceptance. It was really wonderful. There are shops, restaurants and the place feels very welcoming. I did the circle around the prayer wheels and again on the top of the stupa. I spoke with a friendly couple from Germany at the Pashupatinath temple and ran into them here as well. Sometimes it’s nice to have some good ‘ol human English speaking connection.

Check out (click on) this map!! WOAH!

I made my plans to head to Pokhara after speaking to some trekking companies in Thamel yesterday. It is heading into winter here to which means its getting colder and the chances of snow closing off the passes at higher elevations are probable and there aren’t as many groups being organized to make these treks. I was looking at going to spend some time at a Buddhist Monastery, Lawudo Gompa which is a three day trek after flying into Lukla and there are daily flights from Kathmandu. Well… when weather permits and the last flight was canceled 5 days in a row due to weather. Once at Lukla… it’s a 3 day trek from 10,000ft in altitude to about 13,000ft. Plus its cold and I would need to bring EVERYTHING I would need from bedding to clothing. I could get food along the way. I know it’s not a good idea to go trekking by myself and I will not be going by myself nor on treks that will take me past about 11,000 feet as much as my ego may feel like it’s bruised by that decision. Instead of the full Annapurna Circuit trail, I have my eye on something a little more reasonable, the Poon Hill and Hot spring Trek, maybe 5 -7 or so days I think would be perfect to get started. Then I’ll come back here with my brother to do something longer (if I can even keep up with him :-). Let’s see once I arrive in Pokhara and see what happens.

As my friend Rudy says…. ONWARD!

16 Nov 2018

Is Living Hard In India? Is Living Life Meant To Be Difficult?

by | posted in: Adventure, Love, Personal Growth, Relationship, Sabbatical, Spiritual | 2

There’s been a conversation going on around me and also on the internet about how living in India can be a bittersweet, intense and sometimes contradicting experience (Thanks Kat Kozell for those words). I’ve always wanted to visit India because of the great diversity that this country offers, from culture, language, agriculture, food and economics from all the regions north, south, east and west. India had me fascinated and curious from afar which brought me on this pilgrimage here.

In my first day upon arriving I experienced the culture shock that I was made aware of only through conversations and reading. Staying at a really nice hotel in Delhi on a 12-hour layover and seeing how the workers lived nearby was a culture shock in itself.  (I don’t even like to use that term “culture shock” because it’s only a difference of a way of life, why does it have to be “shocking”?) Indira Gandhi International Airport in Delhi does a great job making itself look westernized and modernized and just next door you find people living in the conditions depicted in this photo. Do people think what their living conditions look like is what makes life hard?

Arriving to Varanasi, India the following morning I continued to see and experience the vast differences in cultures. The 90-minute car ride from Lal Bahadur Shastri Airport to my home-stay in Varanasi there was a ton of new data to input into my brain. How store signage looked, the dress of the locals, the smog, the garbage in the streets, the beautiful colors of the saris on the women… and the things that stood out the most for me were watching the funeral procession in the street, the public defection, and the poverty. Is this what I should believe makes life hard in India?

I have stayed in over a dozen different hotels, home-stays, Air-BnB, retreat centers and ashrams in the two months since I have been in India. Each place having a different standard and idea of what “cleanliness” is. I have seen rats in kitchens, cockroaches in bathrooms, mice in restaurant dining rooms and I have also experienced good cleanliness as well.  I have vacated some of these places because of the lack of sanitary conditions in search of something cleaner and I have also compromised my standards and stayed in places that I found “satisfactory” for one night. Is this one of the things that makes life hard in India?

Here are some of India’s statistics… India is one of the most densely populated countries in the world with almost 1.4 billion people with nearly 20% of the world’s population and only 2.7% of the worlds land mass. India is the second most populated countries in the world with about 33% of its population living in urban areas. On paper it’s hard to conceive what that might look like and when you get here you can see how densely populated the place is. I have witnessed some of the trade-offs when a country is so populated like this. Pollution is so evident, all the groundwater is contaminated and cannot be consumed without boiling or filtering and I’ve seen the air quality be deemed “Unhealthy” in Delhi. There aren’t resources here for the police department to monitor everything so the way people drive on the streets is loud, on the wrong side of the street, speeding and most of all pretty crazy. There is lots of corruption and I’ve been told you can buy your way out or in of mostly everything. Trying to find quality products and craftsmanship can be a challenge. There is a division in economic classes and a lot of people look down at the lower classes as being “less than”. The saying “everything is negotiable” is so true here. Are these even more of the things that make life hard in India?

One of the take-a ways from my two months in India is how accepting people are of “what is” in their life. Meaning, they don’t have a judgment of things being bad or good, just as it is. Sure, if someone wants to make something happen for themselves, they can make the moves to make things happen. And generally speaking, people are particularly content with what their lives are no matter what the economic class they are in. In the USA, things are a bit different. The competition to be the best… to get good jobs, to make more money to consume more things are pretty common. I’ve witnessed people in India generally happier and accepting of their lives.

Who even comes up with these judgments? What is clean or dirty, abundant or lacking, less or more, better or best, good or bad, polluted or sterile? Our mind can generate some really wild and crazy stories. There is so much going on in our world outside of ourselves and we can think about it all we want, and things will keep on happening regardless of our thoughts about it. The only effect our thoughts have on is on ourselves. Our thoughts have far less impact on life than we would like to think they do. Our thoughts are only making us feel better or worse about the things that are going on now, events that happened in the past or what might happen in the future.

Most of life will unfold in accordance with forces (The Laws of Nature, Law of Change, Low of Impermanence, etc., to only name a few) that are far outside of our control regardless of what our mind has to say about our life, what we think about our life or what judgments we have about our life. Eventually, hopefully, we will see that the cause of problems isn’t life itself, it’s the stories the mind makes about life that really cause our misery. What stories have you created that aren’t serving your joyful ways of being in this life?

Do you really think that you have to have everything figured out in order to be happy?

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