Blog Full - Maurice Leavitt | Personal Essays, Travel Writing & Reflections

14 Jan 2019

Expectations and Hidden Shadow Issues … Chiang Mai, January 14, 2019

by Maurice | posted in: Personal Growth, Relationship, Sabbatical, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

Didn’t your mother always tell you that life isn’t fair?

After a week of eating good food and exercising I expected that I would lose weight! WTF?

Have you ever gotten involved in a relationship to find out they didn’t live up to YOUR expectations?

As I make my way around Thailand I am learning the differences in how people offer hospitality to foreigners from all of the places I have visited so far.

I began my travels in India I was welcomed into home-stays and families with open arms. It was almost a little uncomfortable at times for me to receive all that love and attention to my comfort and well-being. A wonderful experience to have to settle myself into. To receive. To receive like that from strangers. Without the obligatory feelings of having to give something back. It was a pleasure for me to go shopping at the markets and be able to pay for the food that we were cooking and participate in that process.

When I was in Nepal, I was purchasing food and cooking at a home-stay and feeding people there. I was dealing with some internalized negative thoughts in me that thought I should be getting something back more than what I was getting. Was I giving with a closed fist? I felt I wasn’t getting the appreciation that I thought I should be getting. There was this hidden expectation inside and eating away at me. I wasn’t going to let those internalized thoughts in me keep me from offering what I could to the people around me. But, at times they kept creeping in.

There is something happening for me here in Thailand. After experiencing the ways I was welcomed into people’s homes at the home-stays I was staying at in India and Nepal I had this expectation that it would be like that in all my travels. Was I wrong.

There is this disdain towards white, middle aged, westerners that I am experiencing here in Thailand. They call them “Farang”. Here is a good explanation of what I am talking about here. I’m taking the next two paragraphs from this article because it fits the message of what I’m trying to say.

A farang is in the unique and often uncomfortable position of being judged according to three very different standards of conduct: that of Thais, that of Westerners, and that of farangs, and a certain amount of maneuvering if not outright deception will be required to satisfy all three. On the other hand, farang morality can be profoundly liberating — as, in some sense, it is no morality all, but instead boils down to whatever you can afford so long as it keeps you out of jail. (And what’s more, staying out of jail may boil down to what you can afford — in terms of bribes.)

Sadly, the fucked-upness of farangdom is not something to which the Thais are entirely immune, and indeed they sometimes display an uncanny ability to adopt or at least imitate the worst, because most conspicuous and alien aspects of Western behavior. But because the Thais are more grounded than their farang counterparts, whose ideas of what is right and wrong have been so assaulted by rapid social change that they are all but nonexistent, the reverse is more often than not the case, with farangs coming to embrace values in Thai society that they see dying in their own.

Whatever irritation or disappointment I may be experiencing is not a reflection of the Thai culture. It reflects some hidden expectation or issue inside of me that is keeping me from being open and loving to all around me. Why is it that I need for someone to be nice and welcome me here? They have been here all along and I am the one invading their space. I am creating this inner conflict inside of me all by myself.

So, I write. I write to get this stuff out. To allow whatever kind of time it will take for me to develop the skills I need to be at peace with what is, where ever I go during my travels (and even when I get home). I will not allow things hidden in the shadow of my life to get in the way of me offering the best I am to the people around me and to the world. Thank you for showing me where I need to grow!

Where are your hidden expectations lying that are keeping you from offering the best of yourself to your relationships and the world around you?

A deep appreciation to C3 and Sparkle Pants for the inspiration to do this writing today!

10 Jan 2019

The Food Markets of Thailand – January 10, 2019

by Maurice | posted in: Cooking Advice, Sabbatical, The Human Condition | 0

After exploring all the daily open markets in India, Nepal and now Thailand, it has become blatantly obvious to me how much we have lost track of the connection to our agricultural producers and food sources in the USA. The “grocery store” has become the place where our children think fruits and vegetables are harvested and where ground meat grown. While the weekly farmers markets that are happening around the country are great, they pale in comparison to what I’ve seen during my travels.

The countries I have been to have different ideas of what quality of sanitation is when it comes to food safety. Applying some basic common sense about food sanitation you can find clean and safe products with the highest quality wherever you are. Some of the problem is that people aren’t always honest about their products because making money can be the focal point. For instance, when I was in India I had to assume that all the fruits and vegetables had some kind of pesticides on them. So, peeling them and blanching them was something I got into a habit of doing. I know it wasn’t the perfect solution, but it made me feel better. I think I’ve been doing ok in the 4+ months I’ve been traveling because I have not gotten any serious food poisoning (knock on wood).

Another issue I am having is the language barrier. I have gone to all of the major local food markets everywhere I have been. When I have a friend or a guide with me I have a translator, so I can get all my questions answered. If I’m skeptical about something, I make myself pass on it most of the time. Since I’ve been in Thailand I can see how the people value cleanliness and I’ve been able to drop some of the fear I have about food sanitation.

I came across these “curry puff” or “Kra Ree Pub” and they looked so beautiful and I could not get any explanation of what it was. I stared at them drooling while watching them being stuffed and cooked. They looked like these delectable flaky stuffed croissants, which they were. So, I took a picture and sent it to one of my Thai friends and they were able to translate a little bit so I could look stuff up on the internet. These people are “specializing” in one item of production or product and they become masters of making it.

You can find the wholesale markets where the big trucks of produce are being unloaded and items are being repackaged to sell retail at the markets. I witnessed an entire truck load harvest of pineapple and napa cabbage get distributed to smaller retail “stands” around the markets. Everything is done out in the open for the public to see.

One thing that the USA is a step ahead on is their awareness of “agro-ecology”. I’m comparing industrial agriculture with ecological production systems, which include many traditional agricultural practices and treat farms as ecosystems to be managed. Producers using agro-ecosystems depend on built-in biological control mechanisms, organic matter recycling, and rainfall patterns. Production is safeguarded by growing a variety of crops in the same space and by rotating major field crops over time. These techniques increase the availability of nitrogen and other important nutrients. Rotation also serves as insurance against severe weather events and pest outbreaks of insects, weeds, and diseases.

By contrast, industrially produced foods use synthetic inputs to increase crop yields and livestock mass, control pests, enable out of season growth, and increase longevity. In order to better control chemical input levels, mechanization, and the amount of required labor, crops are often grown in a mono-culture – a practice where only one type of crop or agricultural product is produced in the same place over time. While mono-culture can drive down labor costs, the practice imposes additional costs on society via environmental damage and declines in crop yield and available soil nutrients over time Industrial livestock production follows similar patterns. This comes from the “Real Food Standards” that have been developed by major institutions in the USA that I use as a teaching tool in my classroom.

The moral of the story is that we need to bring more connection back to our agricultural and food producers in the USA. The daily markets are a wonderful thing. We think we have progressed to the point of being able to eliminate hunger by feeding the masses, which is only partially true. While we have come a long way, we need to continue to look at where we have come from and not abandon the ways we are all involved with our food systems. The people are just as fabulous as the food that they are producing and we need to be in connection with all!

fourgingers — Four Different Kinds Of Ginger But don’t tell them Galanga is ginger 🙂

9 Jan 2019

What Does It Mean To Be Freed from Oppression and Suffering?

by Maurice | posted in: Adventure, Personal Growth, Relationship, Sabbatical, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

What does it mean to be free?

To experience the joys of the freedom of expression? To be free from the shackles of the bondage of slavery? Aren’t some of these principles the foundation on what democracy is formed?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” – From the Declaration of Independence

To experience the joys of the freedom from the suffering created by our thinking mind? To be free from our minds negative self-talk? To be free from negative thoughts of our own mortality?

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – “There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.” – Buddha

One of the most common forms of freedom I think we are most familiar with is to be free from outside oppression. Where people take or are given the opportunity to break free from imposed governmental, political or social conditions and constructs. When we are born, we really don’t know what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. Should we go to school or have a family or go to work… even… who are we supposed to be? And when we don’t know any differently and have become accustomed to an imposed particular way of being we don’t know what to be freed would actually mean. So, we define freedom by what we actually know. It’s when we recognize there is a different way of being that the process of becoming free from oppression begins.

It’s important to mention that the quest for freedom here is a social construct. Think gender / race constructs and even national stereotypes. Breaking free from these constructs is only possible when you become educated and can see the bondage of oppression and not the continuation of our freedom of expression.

Once we become free from these social constructs of oppression we get the opportunity to think and feel as we like with the freedom to express it. As we become free from the oppression from limiting constricting beliefs imposed from the outside world, more gets revealed to us on how much we can become slaves to our own mind’s limiting beliefs about ourselves and our own negative thought patterns. Some of these thoughts and patterns run deep from wounds of our past.

Most of us grew up with the freedom of democracy in the USA and in other countries. Even though we might not agree with some of the “rules” that have come out of democracy we still have the freedom to speak our thoughts without risking our lives. This is where our freedom, or oppression, shifts from being imposed by the exterior outside world to the critical and self-deprecating thoughts of our self-imposed interior world which I think is where most of us are familiar with.

One of the most fascinating subjects for me is how we attempt in getting free from our own thoughts. This is a teaching and a great discussion from Buddha dharma and in a lot of the great mystical traditions. It is really possible to become free from our metal fabrication of suffering, which is dictated by our feelings and emotions of guilt and shame. When we get exposed to these teachings and begin to see things differently we then get the opportunity to practice…. To choose our mental state, whether it is positive or negative. And that our state of mind is just a product of our thoughts… the judgments of our environment and our past.

Understanding the Law of Impermanence is an important way to look at the sources of our suffering. Because we have a body and a mind we are going to experience suffering. We will get old and our bodies will begin to fail, and we will experience pain in our body. Our mind will have thoughts that see things happily in one minute and will change to suffering in the next minute. The mind and its feelings/emotions and the body and its pain are all temporary states and impermanent. We can’t prevent or control any of it.

We cannot prevent our thoughts from arising and we cannot prevent our bodies from dying. When we go along following our thoughts (happy or not) and the pain that comes from our bodies we get to know suffering. The body and the mind are suffering and realizing this time and time again we will see the crystal-clear truth that our body and our mind are not “good” or any special things. We will look at all of the things that we desire for our happiness and all the material things that we want to have and realize that all we want is to experience happiness and be free of suffering.

I am a believer of having intentional practices in our lives. Whether we are a sports player, musician, yogi or meditator… we practice. We practice to develop mastery. We also practice detachment, a letting go of negative thought patterns. We practice pointing our mind towards a more easeful and peaceful existence and way of being. We detach ourselves from the suffering thoughts in our mind, of the pain we may experience as our bodies become old and decrepit. It is through these practices where our heart will not waiver and suffering cannot make its way in.

When we can finally see that the body and mind are impermanent we can detach from a particular outcome of our desires embedded within our self-identity and be able to see things more clearly as they are. We become free from our own self-created suffering. We will be able to see ourselves and then each other in our own unique perfection because the desire for expectations have been eliminated. Once we see clearly in our practice that our body and mind are impermanent we will know the cause of suffering, which is craving or aversion, and be able to be free by the practice of eliminating them from our minds thoughts. Through our practices, we will be able to stay grounded, keep a peaceful state of mind and not be affected by our own or suffering.

This is the ultimate freedom. Enlightenment. Nirvana.

9 Jan 2019

The Grand Palace & The Emerald Buddha & The Reclining Buddha – All That Glitters Is Gold – January 10, 2019

by Maurice | posted in: Adventure, Sabbatical, Spiritual, The Human Condition | 0

I have arrived at Chiang Mai and I feel like I’m forcing this particular writing because it’s been a while since I’ve posted something and I’m feeling a sense of obligation to write something. Some of this is cut and paste from other places to give you some of the history with some editing. As of now my interest in writing has gone into areas of spirituality and overcoming the suffering inherent in the human existence. I have something I’ve written that I’m sitting on at the moment.

Thailand embraces the Buddhist religion and I’m learning so much. I’m learning how much I do not know about Buddhism. I appreciate the Buddha dharma and I’m learning how many different interpretations there are. Just like Christianity and the many sects, there is the same with Buddhism. I was a bit confused when I turned on the TV one night and found a channel devoted to cock fighting. If one of the Buddhist teachings is non-violence, how is it possible that there is a television channel devoted to this? I scratch my head. I’m definitely missing something.

One of Thailand’s biggest tourist attraction is a large complex in the city centre, made up of temples, buildings, halls, courtyards and gardens – the result of more than 200 years of refinement. Located near the Chao Phraya river the palace grounds occupy a large rectangular area protected by a high, white wall. Ayutthaya, the capital of Siam had in 1768 been sacked by a Burmese army and the capital was moved, first to Thonburi and then Bangkok. In 1782 King Rama I rammed the first poles into the river bank marking the shift of capital to Bangkok and the start of the new royal palace.

The Grand Palace was not built in a day, but after the first 100 years the most important buildings had been constructed. As you enter the tourist gate on the north end of the palace, you will face a long, wide lane. You are now in the Outer Court. To your left, in the north-east corner of the complex you will notice across a huge lawn another wall around Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha).

I went on a Sunday and the place was so busy and crowded with many people. It is one of the places in Thailand where people come to worship Buddha. There is so much gold and precious stones in the place… someone spent a lot of money on that shrine to Buddha and people come from all over the world to see the place. If you have any issues with personal space, then you better be aware of how crowded it can get. If you stay more than three hours you will grow tired and would be better off returning at another time. In my view there is simply too much glitz and glitter. This is the Thai way and they really know how to impress. I certainly was.

Temple of Reclining Buddha

The Wat Pho or “Temple of the Reclining Buddha” is one of Bangkok’s most attractive temples. It is a much visited temple complex due to its location immediately South of the Grand Palace and the huge Reclining Buddha image it houses.

The Wat Pho is the oldest and largest temple complex in Bangkok, it houses more than 1,000 Buddha images which is more than any other Wat in Thailand. Most of the images were brought over from abandoned temples in places as Ayutthaya and Sukhothai by order of King Rama I.

After the foundation of Bangkok in the Ko Rattanakosin area in 1782 and the construction of the Grand Palace, King Rama I ordered the construction of the Wat Pho. The temple was built on the site of an older, Ayutthaya era temple named Wat Photharam right next to the Grand Palace.

During the reign of King Rama III the temple complex was renovated and enlarged which took over 16 years to complete.

To be honest… I’m a bit temple’d out. I’ve been visiting so many temples and places of worship in my travels, from India to Nepal and now in Thailand. And I felt that I needed to see this temple because of its grandeur and the story. I continue to be most interested in how the cultures deal with the end of human life. How we get into a peaceful relationship (or not) with our mortality and the ceremonies and rituals that we embrace based on religious traditions. So, my tendencies are to continue explore those areas. I am still most enthralled with the Hindu tradition around death. I’m not sure how the Buddhist’s deal with death rituals. Something I need to explore a bit more while I’m here in Thailand.

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