You Can Live Life The Way You Want – Pattaya, Thailand – December 27 – 29, 2018

Pattaya SignI found that it typically takes me 3-5 days to really settle into a new place after I move from one town to another and even to one country to another. To find my way around the streets, make a few friends, find the good local eats and return to my center. Every place is unique and has different things to offer. There isn’t a good or bad judgement, maybe a personal preference but I make every attempt to not judge. We are all the same and wanting the same things in life… food, shelter and love.

I’ve tried to avoid the bigger cities during my travel. It’s a personal preference. Here I am in Pattaya, Thailand after 8 days in Bangkok and, once again, learning so much. I did all these things in Bangkok that I would consider more “western” in nature. Dining out in restaurants. Going on the air conditioned Ferris wheel at Asiatique The Riverfront, Rooftop Bars, looking at possibly buying a new swiss watch that they don’t sell the size I want in the USA… so I spent a little more money than I anticipated. In all honesty, I’m a little bit “temple’d” out, of visiting the thousands of Hindu and Buddhist temples in this part of the world.

After a few days of this, it’s time to find the local markets, the street food and where the locals eat. They are a little bit hard to find because there is no real internet listings or advertising for these places. I ask around and use google translate and find my way around. Patience is the key and using people that can help translate when possible. I was done with the consumerism and “dining” in restaurants. It’s back to learning the local customs, culture and foods.

pattayastreetsI did say back to the local customs, huh? Oh… Pattaya, Thailand… Miles and miles of beaches and consumerism where people come from all over the world to soak up the sun. Or do they? C’mon, you know what I’m talking about. One of, if not the biggest, sex tourism capitals of the world. You can really get whatever you would like here. You can buy your way to all the physical pleasures the body has to offer, you can eat at fine dining restaurants and you can also do what I’m doing… trying to live in the local culture, customs and foods.

Once again, this time is different. How? Because Thailand is what they call a “developing” country. There are elements of western capitalism and industrialization here. Thailand is a place that was never “occupied” and taken over by big brutes of countries like the British or the United States. And yet there are big influences here that come from these countries as their military personnel came here to Thailand for R&R during war time and were catered to by the locals. Think about it… From WWII, to Korean War, to Vietnam, that’s many years of influence.

As I sit here at a coffee shop on Beach Road it starts to rain, and as people duck in to stay dry I meet someone from India, someone from Germany. People come from all over the world to Pattaya and they also come for all kinds of different reasons. You can stay in dorm room hostels for $4US a night, low end hotels for $10, beach resorts for $20 (where I am) and high-end hotels for $300. You can dine at high end restaurants and pay western pricing and you can eat street food for a few bucks US.

mylovebarSomething that has taken me a little bit to get used to once again is how “transactional” things are in this part of the world. Just like when I was in India and Nepal, everything is negotiated. When I want to go get a Thai massage and wanted it from an experienced massage therapist I had to negotiate my way through all the other “massage” possibilities hidden in the parlors. When I go to the markets and want to buy a t-shirt and there are no price tags listed I must negotiate. There are times where things are more straightforward than others. There are times when people see the color of my skin and charge me more money than the locals, even when I was with a local helping me get the best pricing. There are a few stores you can go to where the prices are labelled on items, like at the grocery store.

Trying to find a family homestay like when I was in India and Nepal isn’t the same here in Thailand. Airbnb here is the same way as in the USA. Self-check in and where I get curious. Here is something that I learned… there is this slang word, “farang” … very often the word is used in a derogatory or resentful manner, when a Westerner has overstepped the bounds of admissible conduct or has done something that brings shame to Thailand or its people. A taxi driver educated me in this terminology. I get looked at differently. When I was in the markets I could hear the word being used when people saw me walking around. And yet, it is the farang that is responsible for a lot of the economy here. This is part of the reason why there is no real “homestay” opportunities.

Another piece of information that I have come across here is there are a lot of “deadbeat” dad’s. Meaning, fathers who have left their families and have never returned and are not helping support their children. And there isn’t a government or policy that will go after these men like they have in the states. This leaves women really concerned about their financial lively hood and very standoffish when it comes to love relationships in the future. So, the “transaction” continues in love relationships here in Thailand, at the market and in the selling of sex on the street.

Wat to do? (I love that expression now) How to align yourself/myself to foreign cultures such as this here in Pattaya?

The thing that I’m beginning to appreciate about Thailand is that you can come here and do what you like and how you like to do it. The only thing that will keep you from doing what you want to be doing and hold you back from doing it is yourself.

You can’t blame the outside world anymore. It’s all inside you to do.

What’s holding you back from doing what YOU want to be doing … and being who you want to be?

worldofhappiness

Bangkok, Thailand – December 19 – 24, 2018

padthaiDuring the last 3+ months of my travel through India and Nepal I was staying at Airbnb’s of families who were cooking daily for the family and making regular trips to the markets for fresh food. I participated in purchasing food and in the preparation. I was lucky that the family had “staff” there to clean after the meals. The hospitality is a little different in the Airbnb culture here in Bangkok. People are renting their spaces and do not engage much with their guests, providing food and companionship as I have experienced in the past. Every culture has its different way of engaging with tourists (more on this later).

Everywhere I was staying, I made sure I experienced the street food, the most popular foods in the area and the local markets in all the places I was staying. I wanted to see the real cultural foods in the areas and learn how to cook them. In India, I learned what a “curry” is and the differences from the north and the south and why they are different. I learned how simple cooking Indian food really is and how complex I was making it when I was trying to teach myself back in the USA.

Now it’s time for Thailand. By the way… yes, I am seeing the city, some of the major attractions and some of the temples and I will write about them later. It’s just that the local traditions, food culture and Buddhism is way more interesting to me…

Woah! … Things are MUCH cleaner here. Street food is WAY more sanitary in this part of Asia than in India and Nepal. Cleanliness is next to godliness, oh yea!  I’ve been eating like crazy since I’ve been here. Fresh fruit juices – Passion-fruit, orange, guava with NO sugar added YAYYY! Pad Thai every day. I want to learn “curry” from Thailand. Greed, Red, Yellow and Masaman curry and how those pastes are made and noodles… one of my favorite things. Where to learn?

I was learning from the locals in India and Nepal… and I want to learn from the locals here.

In Bangkok… in the big city… well… that’s not really happening. There are plenty of commercial and professional classes for big money but that’s not what I want to be doing. I do have a couple of leads here I’m following here in Bangkok though. I have a possible lead with someone who provides lunches for business people. Sort of like a personal chef. We shall see where that goes. I think that when I go up north in Chaing Mai there will be more opportunity. We shall see.

In the meantime, I’m visiting the markets. OH, MY, GOD… the food. The good, clean and absolutely gorgeous food. Watching them make fresh coconut milk. The live fish and prawns in tanks. All the Thai ingredients… the curry pastes, fruits/veg, rice noodles/papers… all fresh fresh fresh!!! WOW! I want to buy everything and cook. Yet, I’m not sure what to do with some of it. I’m trying to have patience and investigate where I can go and learn and to create what I want. Patience young Jedi!

chatuchak marketI decided on Saturday to go to the Chatuchak weekend market. One of the largest markets in the world. It’s a little funny for me to go because I’m not really a shopper, I just wanted to see the hoopla. What I didn’t know what that across the street was Or Tor Kor, rated one of the best fresh markets in the world that I just stumbled across. After only two days in Thailand it was wonderful to walk through and see all the local items. The problem was that nobody spoke English. I spent about an hour trying to see who might speak English to no avail. On my way out of the market I stopped to look inside a shop and low and behold someone spoke English. That’s where I found my first possible contact to learn authentic thai cooking.

floating marketYesterday (Sunday) was a day for the books. I met a Thai local who invited to take me to the morning market (6am) at Wat Klang Bang Kaew and the Lam Phaya floating market in Nakhon Pathom about a 60-90min drive from Bangkok. I was getting some really funny looks from the locals, being the only “white” person around… I was even looking for other “white westerners” and couldn’t find any except for a moment when one tour came through the floating market in the afternoon. I was getting what I wanted, a real local experience. I got some major lessons from a Thai local about Buddhism, why the locals buy live fish from the market and them release them back into the water, and some of the local foods. There was a little language barrier and we used google translate to try to bridge that gap.

thaibreakfastOnce again… all I wanted to do is buy everything and eat everything. If I ever wanted to have a bulimic eating disorder it was this day. From 6am it was food everything. Starting with a traditional bowl of Thai breakfast… porridge, meatballs, liver, poached egg, pork belly and something crispy on top. Thai charcuterie, sweets, and, yes, more pad thai. We took a boat ride down the river and it was narrated in Thai and because of the language barrier with my new friends, I did not get any of it. Oh well ????.

I had a few moments during this day where I felt I was in some kind of dreamland. To be in this place, with these people, being treated so kindly, around all of these fabulous foods… I had gone to heaven. Of all the countries I have visited in the world so far… I think I found the place I could easily live.

I’ve been here in Bangkok for 5 days and its now Christmas. I’m exhausted. My feet hurt from walking 10-15km a day. I need a different pair of walking shoes; my keens just aren’t cutting it for this amount of walking. And this morning I’m going to Khlong Toei, yet another morning market with my host family to purchase the food we will be cooking tonight for a traditional Thai Christmas dinner. Stay tuned…

Merry Christmas 2018!

rice heart insects  kingoctopus thai chilis curries and pastes curries and pastes 2  cookedfrog pretty fish thai sweets duck

What I learned after 3-months in Nepal and India

STFU Cocktail SignThere’s no doubt… when I was first planning this adventure I had fear in me… and other people were scared for me and had no problem communicating that to me… and some are still even scared for me. What I can tell you is that I have been able to adapt to a different way of being. Yup… when you are out of your element, removed from your own personally created creature comforts of home and place yourself in a different culture there is no choice but to adapt to a new way of being and even a new way of thinking. I would like to call it, yielding… yielding to myself and my attachment to things needing to be a certain way in order for me to be happy.

Reflecting (by writing) on my past with the intention of learning truth out of my experiences is something I have been practicing for many years. This is something I feel strongly about even in the classroom with my students. After all the years if this being a practice even some the college began to adopt this practice.

I have been immersed in the cultures of India and Nepal. The primary religion is Hinduism with some other religions of Buddhism and Catholicism interspersed where I’ve been. I’ve learned a lot about “pooja”, about the 33 million gods and goddesses and why people study the veda’s in the Hindu faith.

Housemate ThuptenI learned the Buddhist meditation practice of vipassana and its Dhamma is not to be confused with Buddhism itself. I learned that Buddha’s teachings talk how the creation of the universe was not the product of chance, or caused by the will of some mysterious god, but by the result of the Law of Nature and the Law of Cause and Effect. It is also in the theory of evolution we find the biological evolution of atomic particles and how they came together to form more complex forms of life. Whomever came up with the idea of the multitude of gods and idols taught that man is not the slave of metaphysics and the people who created them from their imagination. Theologians found in religion and the god-idea a weapon to enslave the people. I digress a little.

SarangkotBy living in such poverty-stricken cultures for these months I’ve learned the concept of being “happy” as a state of being that we can cultivate within ourselves and not depend on the outside world for was given a more secure place in my mind and in daily practices. This is something I believe we are all obligated to figure out on our own, so we can teach it to the next generations.

America is NOT the next best thing to sliced bread like so many people in India and Nepal think. We each need to go through and overcome our own attachments to desires of having the best jobs, homes, lots of money, collecting of stuff (consumerism) to find out the answer to our happiness and peace is NOT in any of those things. I have a friend that sold their 200-million-dollar company in the USA only to tell me that they didn’t find the happiness they thought they would in all of that money. Seeing people in this part of the world so poor and yet so HAPPY was a big lesson for me.

Rooftop SunsetHaving spent a month in Nepal and on the foothills of the Himalayas I learned how important it is to me to be IN nature. Humans are not separate from nature as much as people like to think and we fall under all the Laws of Nature. To experience the beauty and perfection of nature the way it was created is a fabulous reminder that as humans, we are created in the same idea of perfection. Being human means being part of nature. That’s so important to understand.

I think I’ve written enough about the practices around living a happy and peaceful existence.

I’ve learned to appreciate how fortunate I am (we are in the USA) to have clean air, sanitary conditions, access to modern medicine in combination with holistic medicine and the opportunity to make better lives for ourselves and the people that live in the USA. That isn’t always the case in this part of the world.

Sunset BirdOMG… the food! How backwards we have it in the USA. In these cultures, people actually eat together with their families. They understand the big carbon footprint that raising animals takes which is why most people are vegetarians in these poverty stricken countries…. Because meat costs more money than vegetables. Teaching culinary basics and the making of stocks and broths is thrown out the window by the use of all the herbs and spices here… you don’t even need those stocks/broths anymore.

Witnessing the developing countries and how they are trying to educate their youth the concept of being of service to humanity keeps getting reinforced inside of me. Once we can get past the self-centeredness of the ego inside of all of us… it’s so important to ask ourselves… How we can be the best of service to humanity? Find your most true and unique self… your purpose in life… so you can offer the gifts you have to give back to the world that nobody else can do other than YOU.

I am off to Thailand tomorrow. To experience the Buddhist religion and the traditions in the culture. Learn about the food and cooking there. And to hang out at the beaches in Southern Thailand for the winter.

 

Life is simple… So are the answers… We are all the same…

posted in: Adventure 0

Bird PokharaIt’s been so nice staying here in Pokhara, Nepal waking up every day to the Annapurna Mountains waving their majesty at me… but, what are they saying to me as I sit on the rooftop of where I wake every morning?

There are messages everywhere you turn but, are you awake and aware enough to see them? Even if they are right in front you and possibly slapping you in the face?

Sure, Nepal is among the poorest and least developed countries in the world, with one-third of its population living below the poverty line. It is a landlocked country with rugged geography, few natural resources and poor infrastructure. It’s also home to the most grandiose mountain ranges on the planet, the Himalayas, where people come from all over the world to see, climb and trek into. Are you seeing a dichotomy here? I certainly can feel it as I’ve been staying here in Nepal for about a month now.

There is this beauty of simplicity in the culture for the people here. Where daily concerns are whether they will be nourished with food and will they have clothing and shelter from the cold. It’s been really wonderful to ONLY have those concerns and be reminded of what’s important in life.

I think I’ve lost track of some of that simplicity in my own life back in the USA.  Searching for…. SOMETHING. Happiness? Security? Comfort? Love? Prestige? Appreciation?

I make myself sit here in this beautiful place I find myself sometimes getting irritated. What the FU(K, Maurice?

Be Happy RestaurantHello? Maurice? You get to live such a beautiful life, take time off from work and travel like this around the world, only to still find your irritation with what? YOURSELF! Uh Huh… I’m certainly human like the rest of you all reading this. Please don’t feel bad for me. I’m not writing this for any sympathy.

As I walk down this beautiful Phewa lakeside path a woman walks by me and intentionally rubs her hand on me leaving what looks like fecal matter on my hand and jacket. People who are also walking this path are not always aware of their surroundings and bump into me. The smell of moth balls are pervasive as they are trying to cover up the septic smell from lack of proper wastewater drainage.

 

Happy BoxI am a foreigner in a foreign land and people are curious. People are also judgmental. They like to tell me all kinds of things about myself… who they think I am, what I’m all about, how I feel, what a lonely life I lead and what my wounding’s are. Instead of being curious about me and inviting the curiosity about each other. I think our job in life is letting go of our judgments and preconceived ideas of what our lives should be like and instead, in the acceptance of what is and not finding answers in our judgment of ourselves or in others.

We are all wounded by our past to some degree. Some of us have explored those wounding’s so we are not in denial and dragged around by those echoes of the past. I’m not any more/less wounded or sometimes lonely than the next person. I do know that I will not find true solace and happiness in another person and I am imperfect like everyone else.

Happiness is a habbitWe are all in search of ourselves and who we truly are and sometimes that answer which is so incredibly SIMPLE is masked by all the complicated thoughts of the mind when the answer is right in front of us. We are creations of the divine and are perfectly imperfect in our flaws. Does god or the universe even create imperfection?

I’ve learned to appreciate the simple living I’m experiencing the last few months in India and Nepal living out of my backpack with the only real concerns I have is where I’m going to find clean food and shelter. The rest of the irritation or judgment I may have about situations or other people is my own attachment to an idea that something needs to be happening differently than it is.

 

Crazy GodI’m fortunate to have this ongoing opportunity to continue to practice letting go and accepting of what is. My peace and happiness depends on it. And I don’t think we can do it alone. I appreciate those of you who are witnessing me and helping me continue on this physical adventure around the globe and my spiritual practice of being at peace.

What are you doing about your own irritation? How are you cultivating your own peaceful state of mind?

 

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