26 Sep 2018

What is Success? In Business? In Our Relationships? – Day 4

by | posted in: Adventure, Love, Relationship, Spiritual | 0

Last night we had a beautiful conversation over cocktails and dinner with yet more new friends I was being introduced to. There was an elder gentleman grew up here in Varanasi and is charge of finance for a hospital and a woman from the Philippines on a photo-journalist travel journey. There was a question that was proposed to the table by the elder… at the end of the day … “How to you gauge business at the end of the day?” It’s impossible to do that at the beginning of the day and even in the middle of the day. Reflection happens at the end of the day or at a time where there feels like a completion of sorts.

This man who proposed the question is a wise man who has grown up here in Varanasi all his life. He is well educated. After I answered his question… 1) How much money you made during the day 2) were people happy with what your performance? 3) were you happy with your own performance? Those happened to be all the wrong answers. So what are the correct answers?

I think a lot of the USA is mostly primarily concerned with the bottom line in business. When I first moved to Maine I realized that the “dog eat dog” mentality that I was used to in the big cities was not going to work here. It became about cultivating relationships while doing business. It’s from those relationships that make us be successful and good at what we do. It is not all the money in the bank or the stuff we can accumulate or the cars we drive that bring us happiness. It’s in our relationships where we can be supported to personally grow, as well as our economic livelihood, and in union together. Unconditional positive regard for each other as Carl Rogers once put it.

I appreciated this reminder from an Indian elder today as I am traveling through a country with lots of diverse economic classes where people live in luxury and alongside them there are other people living in their street side shops and under tarps on the side of the road. Everyone deserves to be treated with the same dignity and respect no matter what our background, color, class or creed.

25 Sep 2018

Assi and Burning Ghats – Day 3 – September 24

by | posted in: Adventure, Sabbatical, Spiritual | 0

There is just so much to take in as I’m bombarded with data in a new way of being here in India. I also have so much to write about and document. I won’t be one of those people constantly behind the lens of a camera because I want to be present to all that is in front of me. I am being fed incredibly well and learning so much about northern Indian cooking. It’s taking me several days to get used to the culture here and receive the gracious service that is being provided for me. I’m still settling into it all. Yes, Sharon… I am a little slow and that way of being is looking right at me at the moment even though I can be ambivalent about it.

I decided last night after meeting a new friend that I would take my first adventure to Assi and the Burning Ghats for the sunrise puja at 545am. That means that I would need to leave the place I’m staying about 445a to make sure I have the time I need to get there. It’s about an hour walk or a 10 min taxi ride. 445a is still in the dark of night here so I took my headlamp to walk the streets. The shopkeepers on the streets actually live in their little shops at night. I have to admit that walking the dark streets was a little scary by myself. I passed a few young children who were curious about me and stopped and turned around which really aroused my fear. It was so early that there were not any taxis. I did see a couple heading past me in the other direction to the bus station and I picked one up on its way back. Why oh why did I choose (or was it chosen for me) the dark of night to get introduced to the streets of Varanasi for the first time by myself? It did all work out just fine.

www.melissafoxphotography.com

I get to the Assi Ghat just in time for the start of the morning puja with singing and chanting. What a sweet way to wake to the new day. My friend showed up and we make our way to the burning ghat to see about the cremation ceremonies. After over a decade of hospice work a lot of the draw for me here in Varanasi is the death/cremation ceremonies. It’s about to get real…. super fast. We run into someone that works at the burning ghat who immediately takes my hand and starts to teach me about the ritual. There is a body on a fire with one of the family members tending to it as part of the ceremony. I’m surrounded in piles of wood and people who are helping the families with food, drinks and ceremony. All I can do is take it all in and stay out of everyone’s way. I get taken to the fire where all the fires get started from. This fire is said to have been burning continuously for over 3500 years. My face is being filled with smoke from the fire below, the smell of burning flesh penetrating my senses and I’m not even being phased other than my eyes tearing up from the smoke. As we walk around to all the different areas of the ghat in comes another body being carried by family members to be bathed in the Ganges as a first step of the ceremony. There are people sifting through the ashes after cremation to see if they can find any valuable stones or gold, the families do not take any of that. I donate money to provide wood for families who cannot afford it and give something to the man who is taking the time to educate me. Meanwhile… we stop and sit for a chai and sit down…as I check in with myself… I don’t feel like I’m in my body… is this real or is this a dream? What is real anyway? (Insert Matrix movie quotes here). I am here… right where I want to be… where I’ve dreamed of being for a long long time. With a new friend… just breathing. WOAH! WTF? (Insert talking heads video… how did I get here?)

I could sit at this burning ghat for hours just taking it all in… and I will return to do that. Now it’s time to go with our guide and explore. So many temples here in Varanasi. Over 200 of them. Some of them are really tiny and others are massive and can hold hundreds of people. What was reinforced in me is that we can create any space we like and call it a temple. With our own devotional practices and sacred rituals. That’s exactly what they did here in Varanasi. Where are you creating the sacred space in your life to allow the realization of your own true/unique self and become the person you are meant to become?

24 Sep 2018

Jumping in The Blender – Day 1 – September 22

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Should I be scared? Yet I’m not

After about 10,000 kilometers, 42 hours of travel and many security check points with men with automatic weapons and my bags x-rayed over and over… I final arrive to my first destination, Varanasi, India. A place on the holy Ganges river written about for thousands of years… some call Varanasi the spiritual capitol of the world it’s because of the over 200 temples and the extreme devotion that is demonstrated in the Hindu faith in all the parts of God that are worshiped as gods and goddesses. … and the cremation center where over 200 cremations take place riverside daily and where the same fire is said to be kept burning for about 3500 years. I’ve been dreaming of coming to this town for a long time. It is said that dying in Varanasi stops the cycle of death/life (samsara). Some of the locals laugh at that statement and say the people that think that are crazy. Either way… I am here. 

 

I get in the car… should I be worried about the broken windshield? The ride from the airport which should have taken 30-45 minutes took about 2 hours. The driver who picked me up had some problems with one of the tires that needed to get air a couple of times. Then he got lost a couple of times. The drive through Varanasi was a huge culture shock. There are no real lanes of traffic and everyone is honking their horns… like a courtesy of letting people know you are there. We aren’t moving too fast and in very close proximity to others in traffic. Not much English on the street signs… if there are street signs. All I can do is have faith in god and the universe that I am being divinely guided.

 

I was being introduced to India through this car ride to my destination. What I witnessed through my eyes was something I had only read about. Now it is live, in my face and REAL! There were motorcyclists driving while talking on a cell phone, a dancing funeral procession with a real body wrapped in the most beautiful gold muslin on the street and someone defecating on the sidewalk. Welcome to Varanasi, Maurice

 

After getting lost a couple times and not being able to contact my host family… I finally arrive. The home is truly gorgeous and right on the Ganges river and I’m being greeted with open arms. Took a walk along the Ganges, soaking in the 93F temperatures, hanging out with the cattle and taking in all the smells of a new place.

With all of this being said… there really isn’t much I can do other than surrender to what is. I see this as an opportunity for empathy, compassion and wakefulness. There is no logical, professional or scientific evidence that could ever bring me to this conclusion…. Only to “be” with what is… and to be with the mystery of my own becoming through this process of traveling to foreign lands. It seems to be a level of surrender in which I have some experience with and yet doing what I’m doing… there really is no other option at all. I have no control over anything (like my taxi driver being lost), other than to have faith in the goodness of people and the universe. I am being divinely guided, that’s for sure.

15 Sep 2018

All Systems “Go”… but what if….

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As I sit here in the home I’ve been living for the last 10+ years with all of my personal belongings / creature comforts I’ve collected all packed up (except big furniture) my mind’s thoughts begins to wander to the many places it had to go to consider a trip I’m about to embark on next week. My home feels empty of “stuff” over the last few days and I can honestly say that I don’t miss much of it. A 40L backpack is how I will be traveling with the necessities for living.

My mind has taken me on quite the ride these last few weeks. As a quadruple Virgo I am meticulously methodical in ways of planning, both my professional life and my personal life… especially planning a trip like this. Leaving for 7-8 months leaves a lot to consider. Did I get my bills all set up for auto-pay? Did I get all the vaccinations and medications from the travel doctor? Did I take care of all the property management things for my beautiful friend that is moving into my home? Do I have all the knowledge I need about the countries I am visiting to respectfully honor all the cultures? What is the best way to handle all my finances while I’m halfway around the world? My to-do lists get written and then scratched off and then re-written and then scratched off. There isn’t much room for stillness in all of these thoughts.

It’s been wonderful to be with members of my tribe during this time prior to departure and reflecting on the past and the beautiful connections that have been cultivated over decades and in some cases much shorter amounts of time. These conversations contain physical displays and words of affections, appreciation for lives shared, words of courage/bravery to undertake an adventure like this and let’s not forget the feelings of being scared/fear. Many have said they admire the courage it takes to go on a trip like this and in addition to the fear that keeps us in our comfort zones. I am fortunate and extremely grateful to have the love that surrounds me from all of the amazing circles I have traveled over the years to launch me on this adventure.

I realized how easy is has been for me to get caught up in the form of thought. My mind can instantly take me to all the places of fear which leads to more thoughts of my lack of trip preparations. What did I forget? What if this/that happens when I’m away? Did I do all this right? All of these kinds of thoughts can bring feelings of being trapped and living in contracted space around me, totally uncomfortable. It’s a vicious circle that can be hard to get off of. Remembering the practices I have put in place over the last to find stillness, acceptance of what is and being with the discomfort while not reacting to it. Allowing this mind-state to arise, see it and then accept it is everything I can do.

Isn’t that what they call surrender? To surrender to the form that every moment/situation takes. Are we seeking in places where the surrendered state does not exist… in consumerism, home improvements, making more money? The only place to find this surrendered state is in stillness, in the face of the unacceptable. Where torture instruments become the source of the divine. Not running away from things but, going through them. THIS is my spiritual practice!

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