Stopping The Proliferation Of Our Erotic Disembodiment

As I was growing up in the urban area of Chicago and coming into myself as a sexual being there was little opportunity for me to consciously learn how to accept myself as an erotic creature. As an adolescent teenager, there were lots of confusing and beautiful sexual desires in my body and I was feeling the peer pressure to not be left behind in sexual experimentation. I realized at a very young age that I possessed a high sex drive which I had no idea how to contain, express or own as my own life force. It took a destroyed marriage in order for me to look closer and unpack the meaning of my own erotic embodiment and how I can own it as mine and be able to express myself as an erotic creature on this planet. I’ve come to believe that how I’ve been able to express my erotic self, my sexuality and my embodied vitality has directly effected how I can live into the uniqueness that I call my own unique self. Until I was able to really own my erotic nature I was not truly able to live into the truest gifts I have to offer the world.

 Embodiment from an Integral Perspective
Robert McNamara does a fabulous job describing
embodiment from an integral perspective in this diagram.

Finding our erotic embodiment means to be living into our fullest expressive capacity. Without owning our unique nature of ourselves, which includes our thoughts, desires, patterns/habits, stories of origin, life’s experiences, we will have a tendency to fall into using masking behaviors which keep us from serving the world in which we were meant to serve. In order to offer our truest gifts to the world we need to find and express our own erotic embodiment by transcending and including our entire past and not get caught up suppressing our desires of how we want to live. By working with our life’s experiences and woundings we can find a new relationship with them and not have them run the show anymore. I don’t believe we will ever leave our past behind and be able to say “I’ve worked through that stuff, why does it keep showing up again and again?”, we will only find a new way to relate to those stories moving forward.

As we embrace “The Great Mystery” and our life’s old experiences and stores we can create the lives we want to create for ourselves. By looking at our lives from an insider perspective it can help give us a clearer picture of the direction we want to go. It’s important to remember “we are not our thoughts”; so being able to observe ourselves from an outside perspective is another important aspect of embracing our most unique self. Creating a sacred autobiography has a profound effect in accomplishing both dimensions of the inside/outside. Once we can be able to look at ourselves from these two perspectives, we can start leaning into the changes we want to put into our lives. We’ve now looked at our patterns/habits and love ourselves for them, as they have served us well in many ways, and begin to lean into new behaviors where we have been fearful experiencing in the past. We’ve gotten comfortable in these old patterns, found a sense of safety in them because we know how the story will eventually play out and then we realize they have run their course and it’s time for something new. Establishing our new behaviors are part of “The Great Mystery” because we do not know how these new behaviors will turn out. It’s a beautiful and scary place to be for the first time and a necessary step to find the most unique expression of who we are in this world in order to find the gifts to offer into the world.

Bodily, mental and emotional movement cannot be left out. We find people in our lives to learn from who are farther along on “the path” we want to take than we are who will help us grow…all we can do is grow, and it will be beautiful. I searched for the best erotic embodiment educator I could find, Joseph Kramer and learned as much as I could from him. While I was going through this erotic embodiment process, I needed Stephen Andrew to teach me the art of being compassionate and accepting of myself as I worked through old paradigms of how I viewed myself and created a new way of living. Yoga and meditation was and still is such an important part of my embodiment practice and I have amazing teachers to thank. This was the only way I could stretch out of my comfort zone and still love myself for my mistakes and successes.

I’ve been gifted the honor and privilege to teach and guide many individuals that their erotic embodiment is theirs to own, to understand, to live into and to express into this world. This is something I do not take for granted. I really appreciate the courage it takes for someone to want to make the shift from their old erotic/sexual patterns into something more reflective of their truest selves. Shifting personal perspective and practices in our eroticism and embodiment is incredibly powerful and will not only benefit us as individuals, but, everyone in relationship with us…including the planet. By changing our perspective and creating a new version of our unique erotic expression allows us to open up to outrageous loving in the fullest expression we can find.

Blessings to your mysterious journey.

Completing The Circle With Tantric Principles (and a free class)

posted in: Tantra 0

Connecting lineages which I have become a part of has become such an important part of my evolution. When I saw an offer from one of my teachers Joseph Kramer, to give a free class to my readers, I could not pass it up. This connects the lineage and completes the circle from teacher, to practitioner, to readers. Then, I saw how I could expand the circle and include my tantric lineage of Rudy Ballentine into the erotic and sexual education offered by Joseph. My hope is that you all find some take-away material to enrich your life with.

5108292What is Tantra? Ask that question on Google University and get 100 different answers from; right handed, left handed, Kashmir Shaivism, California Tantra, Sky Tantra and many more. The lineage I’ve been trained in is based on seven living tantric principles…
1. Everything is an Experiment
2. As Within, So Without
3. Tapas & Spanda
4. Multiple Realms of Consciousness
5. Inner Marriage
6. Ascending & Descending Energy
7. The Healing Power of Pleasure

Tantra is about unity and balance. Because of this, Modern Western or Neo-Tantra has become focused on what Westerners need the most to restore unity and balance … sexual healing. The goal of Tantra is enlightenment, although, having a 30-minute orgasm or hours of sex can be regarded as a great perk. Because of this, many students seek Tantra for sexual development rather than the enlightenment. Nonetheless, no matter the intention, Tantra practices and principles will benefit the student in both ways, as Tantra brings together mind/body/soul/spirit into harmony.

Here is the completion of the circle, free access to Tantra Lovemaking for Couples class. (This class contains videos of explicit sexual acts, so if you are not desiring to view, please do not click on the link) As many people are looking to expand their erotic/sexual awareness and their capacity for pleasure (see #7 of the tantric principles), I introduce the “Tantra Lovemaking for Couples” class (Username and password = tantralove) where you will have access for 3 weeks (until May 3, 2014) after this blog gets posted. CLICK HERE to access the course, at the top right corner is the login where you enter username/password, which are both = tantralove. Then you scroll down the page to access the “Tantra Lovemaking for Couples” class” to “view” the videos. (I realize the interface is not completely intuitive)

Ancient Secrets to EcstacyIn this class you can learn about…

• Extending and expanding sexual orgasm
• Freeing the female orgasm
• Yogic ejaculatory control
• Using breath to build and control sexual energy
• Full body and valley orgasm
• Awakening the Saspandana (female G-spot)
• Ancient techniques of Imsak, Kabbazah, and Karezza
• The use of ritual in lovemaking
• The ancient Tantric philosophy of Sacred Sexual relationship

Of all the learnings in this class I would recommend ejaculatory control, using breath, the ancient techniques and rituals in lovemaking. The instructors in this class are Margot Anand, Nik Douglas, Charles and Caroline Muir, David Ramsdale, Robert Frey, Lori Grace, and Suzie Heumann, some amazing erotic explorers of our time.

It’s an honor for me to share this generous offer from Joseph and connect the lineage of The New School of Erotic Touch with the tantric principles. Please feel free to share this with all!

In Breath and Pleasure…

My Erotic Journey Into The Internet, Once Again…

The long arduous hours of web programming with the intention of hitting a larger audience to ultimately bring people together face to face, to have more fulfilling lives and relationships and, to end suffering. What I’m trying to give doesn’t need a shopping cart because my offerings aren’t products. My offerings and invitations are all the same concepts I study, practice and teach in my own life. We will journey together finding and creating our most unique selves possible which will require individual practices, the sangha and group work.

computer junkyard

As you’ve journeyed your way into Waking Eros through the internet, my intent still remains the same even after many, many hours invested in becoming loving friends with my computer once again…to practice the art of loving well…to give our most unique gifts in becoming the most outrageous lovers we can be in this world….through all of our interactions in all our relationships.

Welcome to Waking Eros 2.0

The Dance of Dominance/Submission and The “Switch”

Dominant to SubmissiveIt’s been too long since I created the time to sit and write my thoughts out. The last half a year has been an intense and incredible time. During this time I’ve witnessed and created many a kinky scene and have learned a lot. There has been lots of my own discomfort being at kink parties where there is alcohol/drug use, and witnessing people engage at a level which has been disturbing for me. I find it important to be able to write about my thoughts with the intention to expose others who are playing in the BSDM/Kink scene to some other possibilities of engagement.

People love to play in the land of dominant and submission. It’s a conversation that has gone on as long as animals have been on the planet. There is always a pack leader, alpha-male and the competition to be on the “top”. We see this played out in the wolf pack, lion’s pride and even in the primate species. We, the human race, are also primates with an increased brain capacity which allow us to better relate to each other from a compassionate and loving place. We are creating intentional power exchanges in our dominant/submission scenes and even in other environments where people are paying to submit to a Pro-Dom.

Most of us usually operate from a more submissive or a more dominant arena in our regular day to day lives, it’s just a natural part of being human. Some of us want to be told what to do and others want to be telling others what to do. Using BDSM and creating a Dominance/Submission “scene” is an amazing opportunity for us to explore the opposing forces where we are not used to living in. There are people out there that claim to be the dominant and others who claim to be the submissive in our relationships and do not “switch” to explore the other side. I want to invite the importance for people to explore the opposite energy in which they would normally operate…especially the people who are taking a position in one way or the other.

Why might this be an important part of our evolution? Am I really in control when I am in the dominant position? Is it important to be able to give up control at certain times? Is there really such a thing as being in control?

One of the biggest gifts we can give to our lovers is for them to witness our complete loss of control. It happens during the ten second expression of our own orgasm, but where else can it happen to an even bigger extent? Our conscious decision to let go of control will never happen if we continue to take and hold a hard, firm position and play the dominant role all the time in our kinky play which is why I want to invite everyone to explore being a “switch”.

Dungeon PlayBy being open to explore the less comfortable side in Dom/Sub play we are opening ourselves up to be diving into places in our lives we rarely, if ever, get to see. We call this our shadow. Resistance to giving up control or taking control can (and will) bring up old history and old stories in our lives which prevented us from embracing the opposing force in our lives. This provides us an incredible opportunity for our own personal growth and developing compassion for the other because we are entering into uncomfortable and unfamiliar places where don’t normally allow ourselves to go.

It’s an amazing time we are all living in right now as we build more awareness in what we are choosing to do with one another and the planet. Let’s make sure we are all treating each other with compassion when we are playing in unfamiliar roles and witnessing someones discomfort by not taking it on personally and thinking there is something wrong. Continue to grow and love each other well through playing the switch in our kinky play!!

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