4 Sep 2016

How We Choose To See Others Is How We See Ourselves

by | posted in: Heart Opening, Loving Well, Restorative Relationship, Sacred Sexuality, spiritual practice | 0

Reveal Others GreatnessWe are the universe’s creations and so is every person that we look upon regardless of the past history or preconceived images we might hold in our minds towards another. Humans are born with split minds… an egoic mind and spirit mind. Because of that, we get to make a decision to side with our separate self/egoic mind… to see others as their past and project onto them our own historic pain OR with our spirit mind in unity, to see each other in our wholeness and strengths. The way we decide to see each other will establish our own identity and we will believe it. Choose the better for someone else and that becomes the choice that we make for ourselves… over and over again.

Why would we choose separation and make comparisons or put space between each other, versus union and seeing us all as the same? Because of some false illusions we have about ourselves that holds others away from us. Beyond all these illusions we see lies our own liberation from the past. Let us not get stuck in any comparisons because love does not make any. Comparisons happen when we perceive a lack seen in someone else and keeping clear in our sight any and all lacks we can possibly perceive. We either give each other life or we give each other death; we are each others great protector or we become the judge; we offer each other safety and security or blame and accusation.

Forgiveness is the healing of the perception of separation. Only in choosing peace and love can we look upon each other in complete forgiveness, leaving nothing excluded from that forgiveness and nothing kept hidden from each other. And from there, what mistake can there be anywhere that you could not overlook? Any one mistake that you continue to see keeps you both separated, out of loves reach and from seeing each other as perfect true selves together in a holy union.

waynedyerLet’s make a choice to unite through unconditional and undefended love, otherwise known as universal love or god’s love, where our vision has the power to see people in their complete  wholeness. It’s a form where we both can choose to firmly hold the vision through the lens of god’s eyes while we look at each other in complete perfection. Communication instead of separation becomes one of the main priorities, which cannot be done through our bodies alone but, in our choice of “seeing”. Choosing to create for each other a perfect shelter where our true selves can be continually reborn in safety and in peace. Only in this joint union and welcoming the effects of love can healing be found.

11 Aug 2016

As Within, So Without – As Above, So Below

by | posted in: Compassion, Compassionate Conversation, Ethics, Tantra | 0

A powerhouse in a way of being in relationship with self, other and the universe is in the constant mirrored reflection of each others greatness and recognition that each others’ inner core and our soul is pure love…. what we see in others are the same things that exist in us. All of the good and all of the bad. All of the light and all of the dark.

The things we can see are the same things that exist within us. There is no reality except the one contained inside. This is why many people live in delusion. They take images outside as sole reality, never realizing that they are linked to internal causes. -Hermann Hesse

—————————–
Once we realize the innate nature of abundant, unconditional, undefended love that has no conditions we get to experience timeless times in placeless places. Where the minds measure of time wants to make sense of days going by and feeling like it was only a brief encounter.

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
William Blake – “Auguries of Innocence”

——————————
I am the Universe in part, because the Universe is in me…

Every natural form is latent within us: originates in the soul whose essence is eternity, whose essence we cannot know but often intimates itself to us as the innate power to love and create. -Hermann Hesse

31 Jul 2016

The Restorative Relationship Experience

by | posted in: Ask For What You Want, Eros, Ethics, Loving Well, Restorative Relationship | 0

YourBrainOnSex_CoverAfter reading Stanley Siegal’s Book, Your Brain On Sex. I wanted to write about his “restorative relationship” experience and how we can learn to engage with each other in a place of great vulnerability based on intimacy, respect, trust and honesty. Siegal’s preference is to give attention to our self-awareness, exploration and authenticity over sexual performance or reaching an orgasm which I happen to really appreciate.

In a restorative experience a safe and consensual encounter is created in which we act out a fantasy with our partner we have imagined in our fantasy life and whose symbolic meaning we have come to understand based on an inquiry of questions from our past. This encounter or scene could be as conventional as a romantic seduction or as edgy as extreme BDSM play. Whether the scenario is as conventional as romantic seduction, or as unconventional as extreme bondage, we connect – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – with the deepest part of our psyches recovering what was suppressed or lost. It is here that we connect with the deepest part of our psyches, recovering what was suppressed or lost from our past. In this process we become restored back to our wholeness.

Siegal explains how during the heightened sexuality of adolescence, we eroticize unmet childhood needs and unresolved conflicts in a complicated attempt to heal ourselves. We turn early painful experiences into pleasurable ones in order to counteract their power over us. As we grow into adulthood, these same conflicts, which now have sexual themes, are encoded in our fantasies and desires, and in some cases, within our sexual behavior. Through our sexuality, we attempt to gain mastery over feelings of powerlessness, shame, guilt, fear and loneliness that might otherwise defeat us.

I do not condone relationships between any therapist and patient, although I do encourage acting out sexual desire within the context of growth and love which is what Siegal calls a “restorative” experience that can have powerful therapeutic potential. In a restorative experience, we create a safe and consensual encounter in which we act out with our partner a fantasy whose symbolic meaning we have already come to understand.

Of course, the deepest and most lasting healing comes when we have the opportunity to experience our true desires and work through the mastery of the conflicts behind them over time. Whether it’s with a lover or spouse, a restorative relationship assumes an emotional posture that is often diametrically opposite from the dysfunctional ones we experienced in our childhood. Characterized by openness, intimacy, and mutual respect, the new relationship allows us to derive a new settlement to old conflicts. Within this relationship, sex is not separated from the joys and struggles of daily life, nor diminished by its challenges. Instead it offers a rich and fertile ground for a meaningful and satisfying life.

 

 

A Dangerous Method Trailer from Transmission Films on Vimeo.

 

 

31 Jul 2016

ReWilding The Masculine – Part 3 – The Warrior

by | posted in: Archetypes, Eros, Masculine and Feminine | 0

ccd059a2453608413f9c00ee5e91bff2We are living at a time where warrior energy is being highly scrutinized for its shadow qualities found in warfare, aggression and actions based from suppressed anger/rage. Women have often been the most direct victims of the warrior’s shadow form and have raised legitimate concerns based upon their negative past experiences and are loudly communicating their deep uncertainty and fear against the Warrior’s aggressive energy. Men have become hesitant to opening up to their fullest masculine power and terms such as “Sensitive New Age Guy”, “New Age Dudes” and “The Soft Masculine” emerge into emasculating conversations. As with any other form of repressed (archetypal) energy, feelings or emotions that are pushed underground, the warrior will eventually resurface in it’s shadow forms, in ways that can be verbally blaming or shaming the other and violent physical actions. If the archetype of the warrior in all it’s expression is here to stay then it would benefit everyone to honor and face it.

Let’s be clear about something important. We can not disconnect from true warrior masculine power because, if it is actually a true innate instinct, it will continue to live on in spite of our attitudes towards it. We need to connect to the most life giving ways of the Warrior at his fullest expression. The true nature of the warrior is a total way of living life. The characteristics of the warrior in his fullness include…

  • not holding onto any defensive position of being “right” and has flexibility to alter his position
  • isn’t interested in his own personal gain
  • knows when proper aggressiveness is to be used based on the comprehensive goal at hand
  • cultivates his clarity of thinking and fullness of presence
  • has an awareness of his own imminent death

shiva3If we look over the course of human existence we can see how much war has played a role in defining our history. We need to acknowledge the existence of warrior traditions in many of our civilizations. In the last 100 years we have seen two world wars and the looming battles disputing some of the holiest lands on the planet. One side of the story says that human aggression emerges out of childlike anger and rage while the other side says it’s not that simple. Aggression is often associated with the masculine, even though there are feminine warrior legends, and it’s persistence in our culture is built into our biological DNA structure. Warrior energy is present in us men and shows its shadow side and its fullest expression in the civilizations we have constructed. The Warrior has been a vital ingredient in building today’s world and needs to be recognized because of the important role the warrior has in defining and extending the prosperity of the highest human values and cultural developments to all of humanity.

It is also true that this Warrior energy often goes awry. When this happens. the results are devastating. But we still have to ask ourselves why it is so present within us. What is the Warrior’s function in the evolution of human life, and what is his purpose in the psyches of individual men? What are the Warrior’s positive qualities and how can they help us men in our personal lives, in our communities, for our world’s benefit and in our work?

1 … 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 … 46