Blog Full

20 Jan 2013

There Is No Conflict Between What You Want & What The World Wants

There is a conversation in my men’s circles around speaking your truth without shame or blame and asking for what you want. I believe there is an innate desire in men to take care of the people around us, in our families, in our work, in our relationships and all around us. We become care takers to the people that mean the most to us by being generous with our love, our money and all of our resources before we consider what it is that we want and actually put our desires out there as we are generously offering our love and assistance to others.

What then happens when we don’t speak our truth, our desires and what it is that we actually want for our own lives? There are lots of possibilities…one possibility is that we stray from the people who mean the most to us because we get afraid of speaking our truth. Fear kicks in and tells us we will never be able to get what we want even if we ask for it because of how past history played out. Shame could kick in and tell us that what we want is so far out of the ordinary that the only response from others will be rejection. We might look for our desires and needs to be met elsewhere in secrecy and in betrayal to the others whom trust us the most because we want to avoid the difficult task and facing into the mystery of what might happen after we speak our truth.

I stand in my own difficulty of speaking my truth and asking for what I want at times. Especially in the face of losing BIG love…I honor the difficulty of stepping up to the plate to speak my truth. If I speak my truth will you still be there for me or will you shame me for what I want? Will you take on my truth as a criticism of yourself and get defensive, leaving me feeling unheard? Will I be left alone and abandoned? Will I continue to fear the potential damage which could result from living my life the way I want to by speaking my truth and what I want? Will I continue to allow fear to rule the roost?

I will re-commit over and over again to speak my truth, without shame or blame, because what I want for myself and what the world wants…there is no conflict. The only conflict is the story I create in my own mind which keeps me separated from the world and feeling alone…which keeps me from becoming the man I want to become…which keeps me from expressing and receiving the love that I already know is out there in me and for me.

5 Jan 2013

Embracing Change Through Loving Well

by Maurice Isaiah | posted in: Embrace Change, Loving Well | 0

I want to start this off by dividing change into two categories. First is the change that we put forth in our lives, consciously and willingly. Secondly, there is the change that happens in which we do not take an active role in producing. I love it when I want to change something in my life and it comes to fruition, like a job/career move or remodeling my home, but when I got laid off from a job or my roof starts leaking, putting change in action which I have not started in the forefront, I can (and do) get upset about it.

The easy part of the conversation here is the desired change and the change we put into motion in our lives. It can be so good and lovely and at the same time scary but we are in charge of it. We only have to deal with ourselves and our own emotions. How can we stay in this continual transformation process through all the emotions, positive and negative? Having compassion for ourselves when the times get difficult is a key part of this personal change process. Staying with the discomfort because the only way to the other side is “through”.

Let’s add the next element…relationship. We love the people that are in our lives and want to support them in their journey on this planet. Our lives revolve around relationship, we come together in relationship..familial, work, love, friendship and develop a desire to love and support the other in their own personal growth, which means change. One of my teachers, Marc Gafni, defines love as ‘The consistent commitment to the growth of the other through regular and spontaneous acts of giving”. How can we love the people in our lives when they are growing/changing and at the same time triggering something and threatening our egoistic self? It can be a difficult situation when we feel the other person pull away from the way things are and desire something different in our relationship. The story is changing, the path is rerouting and fear wants to move in.

Where does this fear come from? The fear shows up in both our personal desired changes and the changes that happen around us. Ego annihilation is knocking at the doorstep and we forget how much we want to love these people in our life when they are changing the parameters of our relational agreements. How quickly we forget what the definition of love meant (as mentioned above) when our self protection mechanism is activated because our ego wants to keep us safe from the potential loss of our true self. So we give in to protecting ourselves and forget our commitment to loving well. My friend Carrie said it perfectly…”The core to growth is really facing the idea that something can some how be annihilated..in truth..our perfected natural true self will never be touched…its amazing to grow with that”.

I invite everyone to embrace the change in our personal lives and in our relationships, and facing into the difficulty this change could bring. The earth and the human race on this planet is constantly changing and the only real option is to encourage, support and surrender to it. So face into your fear because you cannot lose the nature of your true self and, most importantly, remember your commitment to compassion and loving well!

23 Dec 2012

What does it mean to “Love Well”? … Winter Solstice 2012

by Maurice Isaiah | posted in: Loving Well, Negative Self Talk | 0

A couple weeks ago I was invited to a Solstice Celebration Ceremony by a new friend. The celebration was out of town with people that I did not know. I found myself a little nervous and excited as the time got closer. I have to set the background first…

A few days before solstice I became extremely anxious about the recent turn of events in my life. The anxiety showed up in the form of major self doubt and a loud critical voice inside my head asking me if I have really found myself and if I was living fully into my unique gifts in this world. My negative self talk hasn’t been this loud in a really long time. There was really only one way to deal with it, sitting with those thoughts and sharing them with close friends. Not looking for others to take care of me or tell me how wonderful I am, but to become vulnerable with the doubts I was having about myself and my life. I’m truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life that can hold me in my struggles.

I became even more concerned about going to this solstice celebration because of the voices in my head just prior to the event. I was pulling out of my anxiety as December 21 came upon me and still really wanted to go, so off I went. The car ride over was in torrential rain downpours and 50 MPH winds which told me this anxiety was washing away, only if I let it. I was travelling with a woman whose father was leading the ceremony and became curious about the family that I was invited into and asked her a lot of questions about herself and the family I was walking into. I was so intrigued…

We arrived and I was dropped off 4 hours early as my friend drove off to visit one of his friends. I settled in and spoke with the family, getting to know them and the other people that were there. I was welcomed into their home with open arms, offered something to eat/drink and engaged in wonderful conversation where I asked about the family to get some more history. I was becoming part of the family the more I stayed engaged with everyone learning their stories. As more and more people arrived, about 21 total, it became more clear that I entered into a space where people were committed to having loving relationships and keeping their heart open, working through conflict inside themselves and within their personal relationships. I was completely in awe…and communicated that to the elders there. I was ready for ceremony…

Ceremony began promptly at 8pm. Rituals commenced around the fire, the directions and honoring the planetary placement we are in at this time. Everyone was on their own “nest” in a large room while the journey took place. Silence was asked of everyone except during times of “toning”. Sitting with myself during the silence brought up many thoughts ranging from my own self doubt, my inner critic and also knowing the amazing quantity of love that I have to bring into this world.

THERE WAS A CHOICE TO BE MADE!!

I was not going to get caught up in the negative self talk like I was in the past few days, not now, no fucking way!! Determined, I was going to enjoy the space I was in, relishing the love in this family I was so warmly welcomed into and to honor the love that I have to offer this world…so the question arose in my head…why am I making life so difficult for myself? My self protection mechanism was/is/can be so powerfully strong that, little did I know, I needed this ceremony to help me see through it somehow….this is what showed up…

I AM THE ONLY ONE MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO CONTINUE TO LOVE WELL. Nobody/no one is getting in the way of allowing my heart to remain open and to love well. The stories that I have been given by my family of origin telling me that I’m not good enough, that I will eventually be abandoned, lead to the thoughts that I’m not getting what I want or need in my life and my relationships. These needs/wants/wishes/desires coupled with my negative self talk have the potential of feeding my ego which wants to keep me safe when it knows that I’m potentially not getting what I want. By keeping me safe, ego wants to keep me separated from others and, therefore, away from intimacy, away from loving.

When my ego is getting fed, separation then commences and take many forms. In the forms of isolation, negative self talk, taking a “right” position, embracing the “lack” in my life, depression/anxiety and closing my heart to being hurt. What the fuck? Why would I want to close my heart and love offerings, and from receiving others’? Let my ego run the show to keep me safe from being hurt from something that I crave the most of, intimacy and connection? How nice of him to be doing that, he loves me so. Except, a big problem, is that in order to love myself and others I put myself at risk to be hurt or I will never be able to experience the beauty of love and intimacy. Do I want to stay in self protection mode in order to not be hurt and keep the love that I am to myself and keep from receiving others love? Seems like a redundant question with only one answer to me. Transcend and include the ego.

Transcending the ego means the realization I have a higher self that is not separated from anything else. It means that I no longer see my identity as simply an individual consciousness, but rather that I am the consciousness that moves through all things. This is not ego death, which would be psychotic. Liberation is found by complete immersion…immersion in the commitment to loving well.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOVE WELL?
When I’m getting caught up in thoughts like, I’m not good enough, I’m going to be abandoned or feeling I’m not getting what I want/need/desire in my life then I am limiting myself to being open to other possibilities and, therefore, preventing myself from LOVING WELL. Getting passed all the ego (or the small self) wants/wishes/desires and to remain open to just what is and all other possibilities in the moment is LOVING WELL.

What does “Loving Well” mean to you?

My thanks go out to the family who welcomed me into their life and their winter solstice journey 2012. I’m so incredibly grateful to L.N. and P.T. who held a wonderful space and beautiful ceremony and to P.P. for the invitation.

10 Dec 2012

Eros and Psyche – A story of a girl named Psyche and her adventures with the god Eros.

by Maurice Isaiah | posted in: Archetypes, Eros | 0

One day on Mount Olympus, Aphrodite decided she had become fed up with the beauty of Psyche, the maiden. Psyche was very beautiful and was often complimented for her beauty. Aphrodite wanted to set her straight. So she called her son, Eros, to shoot one of his arrows, which poisoned immortal and mortal alike with love, at Psyche, while she was sleeping. “What is the point of shooting an arrow at her when she is asleep?” asked Eros.

“When she wakes up,” replied Aphrodite “I will be sure to supply her with someone like the castle dwarf, or maybe a donkey. Yes, that’s a possibility.”

“That is a cruel trick,” said Eros.

“It is meant to be cruel. Now go and obey your mother,” replied Aphrodite.

When Eros was above the sleeping Psyche, he took out an arrow and prepared to shoot it. But he accidentally poked himself with the arrow, and all of a sudden Psyche was the most valuable and wonderful thing the earth had ever created. He loved Psyche more than anyone or anything in the world. He flew back to Mount Olympus, leaving Psyche unaffected.

Aphrodite was furious at Eros for not complying with her orders. The fight that followed was one of the worst Olympus, or for that matter, the world, had ever seen. While Eros was sulking, no one fell in love and Aphrodite began to wither. So eventually Aphrodite saw that Eros must have his way. “What is it you wish?” she asked him.

“The girl,” replied Eros.

“You shall have her,” said Aphrodite.

So Aphrodite had Zephyr, the west wind, come and bring Psyche to Eros. But Eros could not be seen by Psyche for a little while after their marriage. When Psyche’s sisters visited her, they convinced Psyche that her invisible husband was a monster. Psyche, curious, brought a candle into her husband’s bedchamber and looked at him. It was Eros, the god of love. In her shock, Psyche let a drop of candle wax drip from the candle. Eros awoke with a start and became very angry with Psyche. “Yes, I am love itself, and I cannot live where I am not believed.” Then Eros left.

But eventually Eros forgave Psyche and invited her back to live with him, and Psyche was made immortal upon Eros’ request. Psyche is now the goddess of the soul, and that is where we get the prefix “pysch-“, as in psycho, psychology, and psychiatrist.

« 1 … 36 37 38 39 40 »

Leave a ReplyCancel reply