10/29/2018 – I write this on the airplane traveling from Delhi to Kochi, India while 2/3 of the people on the airplane are a group of a “semester study abroad” college students from the US. I guess I needed to write this now. ????
“Everything happens for your benefit” has been an expression that I’ve been challenged with as soon as it was introduced to me. That expression grew out of “never take anything personally”. “What if what is happening at this moment is perfect” is another one that falls into the same category..
Let me explain a little history first…
I’ve been teaching hospitality management and culinary arts for almost 20 years. During the course of my teaching I realized many years ago after reading Parker Palmer’s book “A Hidden Wholeness – The Journey Towards an Undivided Life” how much of a divided life I was living. I was living in my own self-created misery living this divided life every day I went into the classroom. There were some practical and spiritual things I was doing in my personal life where I was cultivating peace in my interior world and yet I wasn’t bringing some of these tools into my exterior teaching world to my students, so they could potentially be more peaceful and therefore be able to focus on their own growth and learning skills. How can I expect my kitchen classroom environment to be peaceful and a place for learning and personal growth if I’m not bringing this part of myself into the classroom?
I knew I needed to make some changes in my teaching by integrating more of myself into the classroom and I wasn’t sure what would be appropriate let alone successful… a grand experiment is about to take place…
One of my teachers (Diane Hamilton) says, “Modern day is paved by intention” and I happen to believe that is true. I have my own intentions every time a new class starts…
- To be the best service to my students as I can be based on THEIR needs and not what I think they need.
- To prepare my classroom with the supplies all of my students need to be successful, so they do not have to run around looking for much.
- To continue to soften my delivery methods by curbing my sarcasm.
The first thing I needed to do is bring this process into the classroom and have students write down and state their own intentions.
Most of my students have heard some rumors about me and my methodology of teaching. Chef Leavitt does have a reputation of being a tough teacher (to put it politely) and I want to get all of these stories out on the open and have my students write and state their expectations of what they want their kitchen classroom experience to be like and how they want to be supported by their peers and the teacher. It’s only fair they are given the opportunity to do the same. Clearing the decks right from the start.
I do the same thing with my students… stating my own expectations of them. Most of them are cookie cutter expectations like following due dates, doing their homework, showing up on time. One expectations I have of them is to “never take anything personally”. How can we evaluate products that students create, be critical and have students think that this reflects themselves personally? If everything happens for our benefit, then this needs to change. Students products they are cooking are not a reflection of the goodness in their hearts and their good intentions.
I collect these papers and then we review them on day 17 of each 32 day classes. What’s going well… what isn’t going well… and what changes in intentions and expectations are to be made. This was only one of the changes I put into place. Weekly writing reflections were another change….
A lot of us never reflect on our lives until something happens to our health or until we are critically ill, and we think of all the things we didn’t do that we wanted to or the things we resented doing that we need to clean up in our lives. I know this is on the extreme side of reflection and yet I knew I needed to bring it into my classroom. This has been one of the most challenging things to introduce into the classroom because students aren’t really sure what it all means to be reflective on themselves in the classroom environment.
Ok… now that I have given you a bit of history here as I journey towards an undivided life in my teaching world… I also made a realization also how I needed to practice what I preach on this travel journey I am currently on to continue to be less divided in my life.
The first stop on my journey is India… and Varanasi, India nonetheless. People that I’ve spoken with told me Varanasi is India on steroids and that I am starting this trip at one of the most challenging places and that it will get easier from there. Now that I’ve experienced northern India and am currently in transit to the south I think I can write a little bit more about my experience and how it’s changing or affecting me.
After 42 hours of travel from the US, when I got into the taxi after landing in Varanasi and on my way to the home-stay b&b, I first hand experienced several of the things I only read about… public defecation, a death ritual, extreme poverty and pollution, cows causing a traffic jam and a 40 minute ride turn into a 2 hour drive while getting lost and not being able to find the place and the host not answering my calls.
In my mind there were two different tracks running at the same time. The one that was the loudest was fear speaking, “WHAT THE FUCK am I doing and why did I decide to do this?”. The other one that I had access to was more peaceful and quiet and wouldn’t compete with the louder voice… what if everything that is unfolding is perfect and for my benefit… be patient Maurice and take this all in… you are going to find your way. And the latter was the truth… I eventually found my way to where I needed to go. If I told you the fear in me immediately went away after that I would be lying to you and to myself.
I would say it took me about a week to really calm down the fear inside of me. To get over my minds perceived language barrier. To deal with the dust, dirt, pollution and poverty. To make sure I am finding clean water and clean foods to eat. And most importantly, to continue to practice the vision that I have cultivated in seeing all human beings in their divinity with god inside of each of them no matter what their physical condition.
If I am going to continue to be a teacher and ask my students to not take things personally in order to be at peace with themselves and what they are doing in their lives to promote their growth… I better do the same right here right now. And opportunities continued to be presented to me that revealed this concept clearly over and over again. Here’s one…
I loaned a new friend my mobile phone charger and they accidentally took off with it. Holy fuck… the phone has become my lifeline, using maps for guidance, the internet to educate me on the places I’m visiting and a great translation tool. What was I going to do? DUH! Hullo, Maurice… go get another one. You are in a major city with lots of resources (1.3 million people). Once again… the fear snuck in with only 50% charge left on my phone. So, I got into a motorized rickshaw and got my ass into Lanka to get me a new charging cable. I showed the driver what I was looking for and he even stopped at a couple places before we got to Lanka and stayed while I went in and asked of they had what I was looking for. I made sure once I got to Lanka that I walked around and spoke with people on the street, so I could become more at ease with being there. What was this fear and why did I have this fear in me? I wanted to understand, and I knew I didn’t need to understand. All I needed to do was to let go and accept what was happening in the moment as being perfect.
I really want to write about how all this fear has to do with the fear of death and our own mortality which I think most things (if not all) stem from. It wasn’t about my mobile phone charger or the foreign country I was in or the language barrier. I think I’ll leave it at that for now and maybe write about this topic another time.
If I am going to be at peace with myself in all this travel I am doing through multiple foreign countries I better continue to practice cultivating my own peace of mind. Didn’t I just do a 10-day vipassana noble silence meditation course that is all about cultivating peace? Didn’t I just stay at an ashram learning about creating a peaceful life?
I am going to practice staying in a peaceful state inside of myself when others are expressing negative feelings within themselves towards me in the form of criticism or anger or disappointments, so they can be free and at peace as well… isn’t that the true meaning of enlightenment? I am committing to continue to grow as a human/spiritual being/teacher/coach/facilitator/lover/son/brother/neighbor/friend and will practice what I preach and minimize the separation (hierarchy) between myself and others because we are all the same regardless of the country I am living in or the educational environment (home, classroom, workshop, any created sacred space, etc.) I am teaching or learning in.
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