Somatic Sexology — also called Sexological Bodywork — is a body-based approach to learning about sexuality, sensation, and pleasure. It’s not theory on a page, and it’s not performance. It’s hands-on (sometimes literally), experiential learning about how you relate to your own body.

The work blends methods from Taoist and Tantric bodywork, embodiment practices, nervous system regulation, and modern sex education. Sessions might involve direct touch, including the genitals, or they might be entirely non-touch — focusing instead on breath, movement, awareness, and conversation. The goal isn’t entertainment or titillation. It’s to help you feel more at home in your erotic self, at your pace, on your terms.

I first came to this work as a student, then a practitioner, and later a teacher. It gave me profound healing, insight, and a way to help others. For years, I used an online alias to protect my position at the college where I taught culinary arts. Not because I was ashamed — but because the world still carries a deep erotic-phobia, and I knew most people wouldn’t understand before judging.

Core Principles and Approach

The foundation of this work is embodied consent — learning to notice what you want, what you don’t want, and how to say it in a way that feels grounded. Practitioners train extensively in boundaries, communication, anatomy, trauma theory, and nervous system regulation.

One of the key tools is The Wheel of Consent, developed by Dr. Betty Martin. It’s a simple but powerful way to explore giving and receiving, and to understand the difference between doing something for someone else and doing something for yourself. It’s one thing to know this in your head — it’s another to feel it in your body.

A session might include breath-work to help regulate arousal, scar tissue remediation to restore comfort and sensation, erotic bodywork to build confidence in receiving pleasure, or Orgasmic Yoga — a guided self-pleasure practice — to explore new patterns. Whatever the approach, the pace and direction come from you. The practitioner follows your lead.

What It Is — and What It Is Not

Somatic Sexology is client-centered and educational. It’s about learning and exploration, not entertainment. It is not erotic massage with a “happy ending.” It is not Tantra — although it shares some philosophical roots, Tantra often blurs boundaries in ways this work deliberately avoids.

When touch is part of the work, it’s one-way only — from practitioner to client — and always with clear consent. Genital touch is done with gloves, using proper hygiene, and only for an agreed-upon educational or healing purpose. Many sessions don’t involve any touch at all. In those cases, breath-work, awareness exercises, and movement become the primary tools.

Who Might Benefit

People come to Somatic Sexology for many reasons. Some are healing from sexual trauma and need a safe way to reintroduce touch. Others are working with sexual pain, scar tissue after childbirth or surgery, or discomfort following gender-affirming procedures.

Some clients want to expand their pleasure capacity — to feel more in their bodies, let go of inhibition, and enjoy themselves without shame. Couples may want to learn how to touch and be touched in new ways, or to better understand each other’s desires. Trans and nonbinary clients often use this work to affirm their relationship with their bodies and discover how they want to experience pleasure.

I’ve worked with people who’ve spent years in talk therapy, finally realizing that the next step isn’t more talking — it’s bringing the body into the process. That’s where this work can be a bridge between knowing and actually feeling.

History and Evolution

Sexological Bodywork was created in the 1980s by Dr. Joseph Kramer, a former Jesuit priest, during the height of the AIDS epidemic. His goal was to help gay men reconnect with pleasure and intimacy in a time of fear and grief. Through The Body Electric School, he trained thousands of practitioners in body-based erotic education.

In 2003, Kramer launched the first professional certification program for Sexological Bodywork™, setting clear training standards and ethics for the field. Since then, the practice has evolved with contributions from neuroscience, trauma-informed care, somatic psychology, and consent education.

Legal and Ethical Considerations

Because it can involve intimate touch, Somatic Sexology is considered sex work in many places, which makes it illegal to practice in its full form. Practitioners in those areas adapt by working without touch, offering sessions online, or blending it with other legal modalities.

Where it’s legal, the work follows a strict code of ethics. Sessions are always client-led, consent-based, and educational. Hygiene measures are followed. Boundaries are clear. The intent is never to cross into a sexual relationship with the client, but to create a safe container for learning and exploration.

An Invitation to Learn More

Somatic Sexology is, at its heart, an invitation: to explore your erotic self without performance, to make peace with pleasure, and to meet your body as a source of wisdom rather than shame.

If you’re curious, the best first step is a conversation. A good practitioner will help you figure out whether this work is right for you — and if it is, guide you through a process that unfolds at your pace, with your boundaries leading the way.